Wordless Wednesday: Fostering Families

Although this IS a picture, it's hardly a Wordless Wednesday.

I have another essay published!

Fostering Families Today saw fit to print a piece I wrote called "The Attachment Tree". If that sounds familiar, you might have seen it when I posted it on my old blog.

And the icing on the cake? My essay is in the same issue as an article by none other than Gregory Keck, my hero in attachment. Mr. Keck is the founder of the Attachment and Bonding Center in Ohio, and author of several wonderful books, including "Parenting the Hurt Child".
To see something I wrote just a few pages after something he wrote is a pretty big deal to me. I'm like, all goose-bumpy.



Anyone involved with adopted children or foster children should check out this magazine. It is a very valuable resource!








Magazine cover image courtesy: coverstand.com


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For my full blog-hop schedule, see the list in my sidebar, but since it's Wednesday, that means today I'm linking up with Crafty Spices Wordless Wednesday, Tilly's Nest's Down Home;and My Life and Kids Finding the Funny.

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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Attachment Tuesday - A Link to Learn From!

I am so very grateful to my network of friends, both cyber and irl (in real life), from whom I receive knowledge and support when it comes to the world of raising kids of trauma.

My friend Denise from Fostering a Blessing wrote this post about attachment last week.

This is a wealth of information. Seriously, it's like a mini course on attachment, go check it out.

Great job, Denise!



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By the way, my apologies for yesterday. I had a guest post link up, but the hosting site didn't have my post up till today. You can check it out now, if you missed it yesterday. I'm at Gadget Girl Tips.


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I'm linking up today's post with Heavenly Homemakers "Gratituesday". Come join!



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Thanks for stopping by.
If you like my blog, I hope you'll be able to take a minute to add yourself as a follower.
Come back soon! I'm here every day, rain or shine...

~Anne


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Don't forget, I will love you forever if you throw me a vote on Top Mommy Blogs. You know the drill by now, don't you? Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever. Thanks!

Adoption Tuesday - Attachment.8

I thought I would post a list of some simple activities you could do with your adopted child to foster attachment. As with any advice you read on caring for a traumatized child, know your child, be aware of the ways in which he or she was traumatized in the past, and know what could be unsettling for him now. For instance, the staring contest is a game I used to play with Julie back in Kazakhstan, and it was helpful and fun. I would hesitate to use this same game with James. So, just use your judgement.

Staring Game
Sit across from your child, holding hands, and stare at each other. You can play till the first person blinks, but I prefer till the first person laughs. Laughing, of course, gets those endorphins flowing, but trying to keep from blinking makes me feel like I'm going to cry. This game, obviously, encourages eye contact, but it's also just plain fun.

Hair Brushing
This works a bit better with girls, of course, but taking turns brushing each other's hair is a wonderful attachment activity. For that matter, painting each other's fingernails and toenails is, too.
As an aside, for my girls who were afraid of dogs when they first came home to us, I found if they could brush the dogs, they became more comfortable and less afraid of them.

Telling Stories
This activity works great one on one in the car. I remember driving James to his therapist appointments, and he would say to me, "Tell me a story." He always wanted a story about me; my childhood, especially. In the beginning I would tell him one after the other, but then I started exacting a toll: for each story I told, he needed to tell me one from his past. We learned a lot about each other on those car trips.

Back Scratches
Scratching each other's backs is a very nice, non-threatening way to get that extra touch in, especially for any children who might be uncomfortable/sensitive to soft touch. It can be done above the shirt if they're not able to handle skin-to-skin contact. If there's no history of sexual abuse, you can move on to include massage, but always start with something deep, like shoulder rubs, and see how they tolerate it.

Rocking
I know for small children, it is often recommended that you take some time to sit them in your lap, rock them, and actually feed them a bottle. While I understand the theory behind this, it always weirded me out a bit. However, I still think there's incredible value to be found in rocking a child in your lap. I've done this with all my adopted kids, and they were nearly six, 10, and nearly 14 when they arrived home. Now, with the older ones, we started this acivity more like a joke, and it was just a silly thing they could laugh at, but when the giggles subsided, I could feel them melt into me as I hummed a soft tune and petted their hair. There is no place of comfort like a Mama's lap.




Hope these help....




Previous posts on Attachment:

Attachment The Attachment Tree
Attachment.2 I Love You
Attachment.3 Keck and Kupecky
Attachment.4 Control
Attachment.5 Cycles
Attachment.6 Consequences
Attachment.7 Add it on.






Image courtesy: sheknows.com



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