I had many questions.
I had few answers.
I was by turns alone, worried, not good enough.
I was just a girl.
And then a man walked into this unsteady world of mine.
He was a big solid man with a mustache and a pipe.
He could build things.
He could fix things.
With magic, he could turn docks twisted and deformed from the ice of the bay into things straight and true.
Though he was in my world, he was also not. He was on the periphery. There was a boundary he could not, would not cross. His feet were in the world of another. We were a living, breathing Venn Diagram, with intersections and overlaps and voids.
And this Venn Diagram was forever shifting, and this man moved in and out of circles many times throughout the years.
But like the solid things he built, he remained solid in my life, even when turmoil and chaos drove him away for stretches of time.
He always returned.
And I would call him Mister, and he would call me Girl.
I grew and I flew from my island home.
I learned, I married, I worked, I had babies.
From time to time I would return home.
As I chased after my little ones, he remained on the periphery, watching me learn to be a Mama.
The twinkle in his eyes did not go unnoticed.
And I would call him Mister, and he would call me Girl.
My babies grew, and the man began to slow.
No longer did he fix docks, no longer did he build houses. And though his hands and his back and his shoulders looked strong as ever, they began to pain him.
Still, he managed to do magic on an old house and her land and her outbuildings, creating little secret pathways and gates and wishing wells.
And when I would come to visit, his eyes would shine bright as he showed me his latest project.
He would sit with me over coffee and tell me his latest plans.
And I would call him Mister, and he would call me Girl.
One day, a telephone call.
Sickness.
Worry....
Getting worse.
Doctors.
Hospital.
Cancer.
Not much longer.....
A visit with my babies.
There he lay.
No longer big and strong.
Smaller.
Weaker.
Sleeping.
I woke him.
He looked at me and smiled.
And I called him Mister, and he called me Girl.
And I tried not to cry as we talked.
We all said our goodbyes, knowing it would likely be a final goodbye, but not speaking of it.
And five days later, he was gone.
And yet, like when I went stretches of time without seeing him, I feel his presence still.
Solid and strong and constant.
And he is my Mister.
And I am his Girl.
