I don't care that it's still several years away, a girl can dream, can't she?
To that end, I have begun to fantasize.
Please enjoy a few images from my fantasy collection...
What. At least some of these things are obtainable.
Showing posts with label George Clooney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label George Clooney. Show all posts
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Fantasy
The Empty Nest period of my life draws enticingly nearer by the day.
I don't care that it's still several years away, a girl can dream, can't she?
To that end, I have begun to fantasize.
Please enjoy a few images from my fantasy collection...
What. At least some of these things are obtainable.
I don't care that it's still several years away, a girl can dream, can't she?
To that end, I have begun to fantasize.
Please enjoy a few images from my fantasy collection...
What. At least some of these things are obtainable.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Dear Mr. Clooney,
Dear Mr. Clooney,
It has come to my attention that you and Miss Stacy Keibler have parted ways.
Such sad news.
But time heals all wounds, as they say. Take a little down time in your villa and be sure to engage in some fun activities to get your mind off your heartbreak.
Then, when you're ready (and only when you're truly ready), jump back into the dating game.
Although I am protective of my little sister Mary Birdsong, I do approve of you as a would-be suitor, so feel free to call on her.
Since you worked with her on The Descendants, I'm sure you already have her contact information, but if you've lost it, please feel free to email me and I'll get that to you (farmbeachgal@yahoo.com).
Might I remind you that you have several things in common? You've both lived in Kentucky, you're both actors who have a great sense of humor. You can both do impressions. You're both Democrats, you're Irish/German/English, Catholic, you were born in the same decade, the list goes on. I mean honestly, you were made for each other.
Plus she's cute as a button, see?
Image source
and you're just handsome as all get out and I have a huge crush on you myself but my husband won't give me a celebrity pass.
And just think, if you went out with my sister, and things ended in matrimony, you would get me as your sister-in-law, and my six kids would be your ready-made nieces and nephews. Fun, right?
You could come visit us on the farm sometimes. You could go fishing in our pond. Only watch where you step because you know we never rebuilt that spillway very well and we wouldn't want you twisting an ankle where it's all eroded.
You could gather eggs in the barn, wouldn't that be quaint? Just keep your eye open for rats. And manure. You probably wear expensive shoes, so be careful, I wouldn't want you to ruin them.
Maybe you would be better off swimming in our pool. It's one of them fancy in-ground ones. A "see-ment pond", as Ellie May used to say. Just give us a little warning so I can get the kids to clean it. It's been known to get murky if we don't stay on top of it. And it sometimes has frogs in it, so we'll pick them out ahead of time if you just give us a little notice.
It'll be just like spending down time in your villa. Except we don't have any servants or anything and there's a lot of screaming and yelling and crying all the time and there's dog hair in every corner and sometimes really gross stuff gets tracked in the house on peoples' boots and there's a lot of dogs barking and tripping you up and there are a few temper holes in the walls and like I said we have frogs in our pool and you've probably never been swimming in a pool that had frogs in it.
But other than that, you won't know the difference.
So yeah....
Mary Birdsong. She's for you.
Most sincerely,
Your future sister-in-law,
Anne
**************
Thanks so much, everyone, for all your votes during the Circle of Moms contest! You secured my place in the top 25, so I'll get another cool badge for my blog (yes, I am a geek).
*************
And don't forget Top Mommy Blogs! You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.
Thanks!
It has come to my attention that you and Miss Stacy Keibler have parted ways.
Such sad news.
But time heals all wounds, as they say. Take a little down time in your villa and be sure to engage in some fun activities to get your mind off your heartbreak.
Then, when you're ready (and only when you're truly ready), jump back into the dating game.
Although I am protective of my little sister Mary Birdsong, I do approve of you as a would-be suitor, so feel free to call on her.
Since you worked with her on The Descendants, I'm sure you already have her contact information, but if you've lost it, please feel free to email me and I'll get that to you (farmbeachgal@yahoo.com).
Might I remind you that you have several things in common? You've both lived in Kentucky, you're both actors who have a great sense of humor. You can both do impressions. You're both Democrats, you're Irish/German/English, Catholic, you were born in the same decade, the list goes on. I mean honestly, you were made for each other.
Plus she's cute as a button, see?
Image source
and you're just handsome as all get out and I have a huge crush on you myself but my husband won't give me a celebrity pass.
And just think, if you went out with my sister, and things ended in matrimony, you would get me as your sister-in-law, and my six kids would be your ready-made nieces and nephews. Fun, right?
You could come visit us on the farm sometimes. You could go fishing in our pond. Only watch where you step because you know we never rebuilt that spillway very well and we wouldn't want you twisting an ankle where it's all eroded.
You could gather eggs in the barn, wouldn't that be quaint? Just keep your eye open for rats. And manure. You probably wear expensive shoes, so be careful, I wouldn't want you to ruin them.
Maybe you would be better off swimming in our pool. It's one of them fancy in-ground ones. A "see-ment pond", as Ellie May used to say. Just give us a little warning so I can get the kids to clean it. It's been known to get murky if we don't stay on top of it. And it sometimes has frogs in it, so we'll pick them out ahead of time if you just give us a little notice.
It'll be just like spending down time in your villa. Except we don't have any servants or anything and there's a lot of screaming and yelling and crying all the time and there's dog hair in every corner and sometimes really gross stuff gets tracked in the house on peoples' boots and there's a lot of dogs barking and tripping you up and there are a few temper holes in the walls and like I said we have frogs in our pool and you've probably never been swimming in a pool that had frogs in it.
But other than that, you won't know the difference.
So yeah....
Mary Birdsong. She's for you.
Most sincerely,
Your future sister-in-law,
Anne
**************
Thanks so much, everyone, for all your votes during the Circle of Moms contest! You secured my place in the top 25, so I'll get another cool badge for my blog (yes, I am a geek).
*************
And don't forget Top Mommy Blogs! You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.
Thanks!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Farm Friday: Animal Magnetism
I've said it a million times. I don't have a green thumb.
I do, however, seem to have a hairy thumb. Or at least I used to.
The quality of the care of my critters appears to be indirectly proportional to the number of children I have.
Stupid critters haven't gotten the memo, though.
They keep finding me.
For example, on my birthday, we were driving to dinner, when I spied what appeared to be a hawk in distress. Before Fred could say "late to dinner", he was making a u-turn. But as it turned out, what I thought was a hawk hanging upside down by his talons caught in netting above a Little League field, was just the hawk trying to eat a bird that had died in said netting.
Disaster averted.
Walking back to the car after dinner, I spied a little kitty wandering the parking lot. With no houses anywhere nearby, and a busy highway not far away, I figured he was doomed. Soon enough, most of the kids and myself were trying to chase him down in the parking lot, getting down on all fours, peering under cars, shining flashlights hither and yon, but to no avail. We finally had to console ourselves with the knowledge that there were dozens of workers at this strip of restaurants, and surely someone would find him and get him to safety.
Then a couple of weeks ago, the stray cat that had been slinking around our barn for some time finally decided we were trustworthy enough to befriend. She is now living on our front porch in a box filled with blankets, and a never-ending supply of chow and water and belly rubs. We're trying to find a home for sweet little Miss Kitty, and oh by the way, she seems to be pregnant.
You can add her to the list of cats that seem to find us, including Mamfy and Mali who live with us permenantly; like the stray we call Smoky Joe that lives in our barn; and the new long-haired grey, as yet unnamed, that showed up last week.
Of course, cat food on the porch has led to a new critter in town. Another grey, only this one has beady eyes and a revolting rat-like tail. A possum.
Delightful.
Then last week, my husband's birthday, actually, there was a bird loose in the house. It somehow flew down the chimney and found its way out in our basement. I caught him with a towel and set him free, but not after he gave chase to myself and four crazed kitties hungry for a little afternoon snack.
This is all just in the last few weeks, mind you.
Yes, animals seem to be drawn to me as if by magnetic force.
I don't know why.
I do know that the balance point has been tipped. I am no longer in control. I am overworked in my duties as zookeeper. The dog-hair dust bunnies have begun to breed prolifically, I buy more cat food than cereal, and I shall soon be responsible for finding homes for kitties for God's sake.
If something's going to be attracted to me magnetically, why can't it be chocolate or my couch and heating blanket or wine or George Clooney?
Why kittens and fledgling starlings?
Help Wanted:
Assistant Zookeeper
No pay, but you get to pet soft things and clean up lots of poop.
Any takers?
**************************
Read it.
Like it?
Follow it.
Please?
Thanks.
(Follow my blog by adding yourself as a follower with Google Friends Connect in my sidebar!)
***************************
Don't forget, I will love you forever if you throw me a vote on Top Mommy Blogs. You know the drill by now, don't you? Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.
Thanks!
***************
In case you didn't know it, I'm like the queen of blog-hoppin' lately. It's kind of like square dancing but without the dated outfits, smelly gym, and elderly caller.
Come join the fun!
*************
Rudeness disclaimer:
I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.
I do, however, seem to have a hairy thumb. Or at least I used to.
The quality of the care of my critters appears to be indirectly proportional to the number of children I have.
Stupid critters haven't gotten the memo, though.
They keep finding me.
For example, on my birthday, we were driving to dinner, when I spied what appeared to be a hawk in distress. Before Fred could say "late to dinner", he was making a u-turn. But as it turned out, what I thought was a hawk hanging upside down by his talons caught in netting above a Little League field, was just the hawk trying to eat a bird that had died in said netting.
Disaster averted.
Walking back to the car after dinner, I spied a little kitty wandering the parking lot. With no houses anywhere nearby, and a busy highway not far away, I figured he was doomed. Soon enough, most of the kids and myself were trying to chase him down in the parking lot, getting down on all fours, peering under cars, shining flashlights hither and yon, but to no avail. We finally had to console ourselves with the knowledge that there were dozens of workers at this strip of restaurants, and surely someone would find him and get him to safety.
Then a couple of weeks ago, the stray cat that had been slinking around our barn for some time finally decided we were trustworthy enough to befriend. She is now living on our front porch in a box filled with blankets, and a never-ending supply of chow and water and belly rubs. We're trying to find a home for sweet little Miss Kitty, and oh by the way, she seems to be pregnant.
You can add her to the list of cats that seem to find us, including Mamfy and Mali who live with us permenantly; like the stray we call Smoky Joe that lives in our barn; and the new long-haired grey, as yet unnamed, that showed up last week.
Of course, cat food on the porch has led to a new critter in town. Another grey, only this one has beady eyes and a revolting rat-like tail. A possum.
Delightful.
Then last week, my husband's birthday, actually, there was a bird loose in the house. It somehow flew down the chimney and found its way out in our basement. I caught him with a towel and set him free, but not after he gave chase to myself and four crazed kitties hungry for a little afternoon snack.
This is all just in the last few weeks, mind you.
Yes, animals seem to be drawn to me as if by magnetic force.
I don't know why.
I do know that the balance point has been tipped. I am no longer in control. I am overworked in my duties as zookeeper. The dog-hair dust bunnies have begun to breed prolifically, I buy more cat food than cereal, and I shall soon be responsible for finding homes for kitties for God's sake.
If something's going to be attracted to me magnetically, why can't it be chocolate or my couch and heating blanket or wine or George Clooney?
Why kittens and fledgling starlings?
Help Wanted:
Assistant Zookeeper
No pay, but you get to pet soft things and clean up lots of poop.
Any takers?
**************************
Read it.
Like it?
Follow it.
Please?
Thanks.
(Follow my blog by adding yourself as a follower with Google Friends Connect in my sidebar!)
***************************
Don't forget, I will love you forever if you throw me a vote on Top Mommy Blogs. You know the drill by now, don't you? Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.
Thanks!
***************
In case you didn't know it, I'm like the queen of blog-hoppin' lately. It's kind of like square dancing but without the dated outfits, smelly gym, and elderly caller.
Come join the fun!
*************
Rudeness disclaimer:
I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Mirth Monday: Bitter Party of Five, episode 3
Question Mark Segment:
Remember my little sister?
Mary Birdsong?
You know, the one who was in Descendants, with none other than Mr. George Clooney?
The one who was in Reno 911?
The one who was in movies with Ashton Kutcher, Patrick Dempsey, Kristen Stewart?
The very girl who's been in episodes of Raising Hope and The Middle?
The one who plays the Mom in the new Disney XD show Crash and Bernstein?
Do you also remember that she's been involved in a web series called Bitter Party of Five?
Exclamation Mark Segment:
Well happy day! There's a new webisode!!!
A webisode with Stephen Root!
Watch it here! Watch it Now!
Laugh uproariously!
Yay!
************
Read it. Like it? Follow it. Please? Thanks.
(Follow my blog by adding yourself as a follower with Google Friends Connect in my sidebar!)
***************************
You guys rock.
My blog had fallen to the 2nd page of TMB.
I asked you to vote, and you did.
I'm back on the 1st page!
Remember you can vote every day, to keep me there.
Just one quick click of this brown button.
One quick click, one quick click, one quick click.
I can say it 3x fast, can you?
Thanks!
*************
Rudeness disclaimer:
I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.
Remember my little sister?
Mary Birdsong?
You know, the one who was in Descendants, with none other than Mr. George Clooney?
The one who was in Reno 911?
The one who was in movies with Ashton Kutcher, Patrick Dempsey, Kristen Stewart?
The very girl who's been in episodes of Raising Hope and The Middle?
The one who plays the Mom in the new Disney XD show Crash and Bernstein?
Do you also remember that she's been involved in a web series called Bitter Party of Five?
Exclamation Mark Segment:
Well happy day! There's a new webisode!!!
A webisode with Stephen Root!
Watch it here! Watch it Now!
Laugh uproariously!
Yay!
************
Read it. Like it? Follow it. Please? Thanks.
(Follow my blog by adding yourself as a follower with Google Friends Connect in my sidebar!)
***************************
You guys rock.
My blog had fallen to the 2nd page of TMB.
I asked you to vote, and you did.
I'm back on the 1st page!
Remember you can vote every day, to keep me there.
Just one quick click of this brown button.
One quick click, one quick click, one quick click.
I can say it 3x fast, can you?
Thanks!
*************
Rudeness disclaimer:
I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
TomKat and Franngelina
I know everyone's heads are still reeling from the demise of TomKat.
But I'm here to reassure you that Franngelina is still going strong.
(Here is a post I wrote on my old blog that defines for you who "Franngelina" is exactly)....
Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie = Brangelina.
Right?
And Fred + Anne = Fran.
Wanna play six degrees of separation? Yawn.
Anne to my sister, actress Mary Birdsong: 1 degree.
Mary to George Clooney (in a movie together): 2 degrees.
George to bff Brad: 3 degrees.
Done.
So as couples, we're so together that I feel we should be considered by one and all to be....
Franngelina.
Let's compare the respective partners:
Angelina
6 kids. 3 boys, 3 girls. 3 by birth, 3 by international adoption.
Anne
6 kids. 3 boys, 3 girls. 3 by birth, 3 by international adoption.
Angelina
She was raised by WEALthy celebrities.
Anne
I was raised on WELfare.
Angelina
She is beleaguered by requests for her signature on photos, foreheads, and bits of napkins.
Anne
I am beleaguered by requests for my signature on field trip permission slips, course syllabi, and bus transportation forms.
Angelina
While her partner is off jet-setting and acting in bazillion-dollar films, she is stuck raising six kids all by herself with only six nannies, a full housekeeping staff and a personal chef.
Anne
While my partner is off working, I am stuck raising six kids all by myself with only....well with nothing.
Angelina
Plus Anne
Equals Annegelina
Brad
His name is spelled consonant-r-vowel-d.
Fred
His name is spelled consonant-r-vowel-d.
Uncanny. It's like they're twins.
Brad
Plus Fred
Equals Frad
And last but not least, when you morph Annegelina and Frad, of course you get.....
Franngelina
Thank you, thank you. Please form an orderly line for autographs.
***************
I'm linking my post "Farm Friday - If You Give a Mouse to Granny C" with A Rural Journal Blog hop today. Come on over and join in the fun!
***************
Thanks for stopping by.
If you like my blog, I hope you'll be able to take a minute to add yourself as a follower.
Come back soon! I'm here every day, rain or shine...
~Anne
**************
Don't forget, I will love you forever if you throw me a vote on Top Mommy Blogs. You know the drill by now, don't you? Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.
Thanks!
Ooh, looky here! I've been nominated for another Circle of Moms contest! This one is for Top 25 Moms With Big Families. Last year my Bringing Borya Home blog made the top 25 for this category, but here's my chance to get in with my Life on the Funny Farm blog. To vote for me, click this pink badge, then scroll down till you see my blog, and click on the thumbs-up button. You can vote every day till the contest ends. Thanks!
But I'm here to reassure you that Franngelina is still going strong.
(Here is a post I wrote on my old blog that defines for you who "Franngelina" is exactly)....
Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie = Brangelina.
Right?
And Fred + Anne = Fran.
Wanna play six degrees of separation? Yawn.
Anne to my sister, actress Mary Birdsong: 1 degree.
Mary to George Clooney (in a movie together): 2 degrees.
George to bff Brad: 3 degrees.
Done.
So as couples, we're so together that I feel we should be considered by one and all to be....
Franngelina.
Let's compare the respective partners:
Angelina
6 kids. 3 boys, 3 girls. 3 by birth, 3 by international adoption.
Anne
6 kids. 3 boys, 3 girls. 3 by birth, 3 by international adoption.
Angelina
She was raised by WEALthy celebrities.
Anne
I was raised on WELfare.
Angelina
She is beleaguered by requests for her signature on photos, foreheads, and bits of napkins.
Anne
I am beleaguered by requests for my signature on field trip permission slips, course syllabi, and bus transportation forms.
Angelina
While her partner is off jet-setting and acting in bazillion-dollar films, she is stuck raising six kids all by herself with only six nannies, a full housekeeping staff and a personal chef.
Anne
While my partner is off working, I am stuck raising six kids all by myself with only....well with nothing.
Angelina
Plus Anne
Equals Annegelina
Brad
His name is spelled consonant-r-vowel-d.
Fred
His name is spelled consonant-r-vowel-d.
Uncanny. It's like they're twins.
Brad
Plus Fred
Equals Frad
And last but not least, when you morph Annegelina and Frad, of course you get.....
Franngelina
Thank you, thank you. Please form an orderly line for autographs.
***************
I'm linking my post "Farm Friday - If You Give a Mouse to Granny C" with A Rural Journal Blog hop today. Come on over and join in the fun!
***************
Thanks for stopping by.
If you like my blog, I hope you'll be able to take a minute to add yourself as a follower.
Come back soon! I'm here every day, rain or shine...
~Anne
**************
Don't forget, I will love you forever if you throw me a vote on Top Mommy Blogs. You know the drill by now, don't you? Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.
Thanks!
Ooh, looky here! I've been nominated for another Circle of Moms contest! This one is for Top 25 Moms With Big Families. Last year my Bringing Borya Home blog made the top 25 for this category, but here's my chance to get in with my Life on the Funny Farm blog. To vote for me, click this pink badge, then scroll down till you see my blog, and click on the thumbs-up button. You can vote every day till the contest ends. Thanks!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Yay Mary! Represent!
O.M.G!
I'd been saying since I saw the movie last October that there was a chance that my sister Mary Birdsong's scene with George Clooney in The Descendants would be played at the Oscars when they played the clip for his Best Actor nomination.
And they DID!!!!
I LOVE YOU MARY!!!!!!
Show the love. Click this button!
I'd been saying since I saw the movie last October that there was a chance that my sister Mary Birdsong's scene with George Clooney in The Descendants would be played at the Oscars when they played the clip for his Best Actor nomination.
And they DID!!!!
I LOVE YOU MARY!!!!!!
Show the love. Click this button!
Oscars
So tonight's The Big Night. The Oscars.
As you may or may not have heard
oh I'm sorry, have I already mentioned that?(cough)
my sister, actress Mary Birdsong,
was in the movie The Descendants, with George MF Clooney.
And as it turns out, The Descendants will be well represented at tonight's Academy Awards. It's up for:
Best Picture
Best Actor - George Clooney
Best Director - Alexander Payne.
Now, Mr. Payne seemed like a very nice man
WHEN I MET HIM
name drop-name drop-name-drop
and you all know my feelings for Georgie
swoon-drool-hot flash
and I sincerely hope they both win their categories.
But what I want most of all is for The Descendants to win Best Picture.
Because THEN, Mary can have bragging rights on her resume and , oh well pretty much everything the rest of her LIFE, that she was in an Academy Award-winning movie.
And that would be pretty awesome.
Cheer for Mary! Vote for her sister (that would be me)....
Images courtesy: kansascity.com, screenjunkies.com
As you may or may not have heard
oh I'm sorry, have I already mentioned that?(cough)
my sister, actress Mary Birdsong,
was in the movie The Descendants, with George MF Clooney.
And as it turns out, The Descendants will be well represented at tonight's Academy Awards. It's up for:
Best Picture
Best Actor - George Clooney
Best Director - Alexander Payne.
Now, Mr. Payne seemed like a very nice man
WHEN I MET HIM
name drop-name drop-name-drop
and you all know my feelings for Georgie
swoon-drool-hot flash
and I sincerely hope they both win their categories.
But what I want most of all is for The Descendants to win Best Picture.
Because THEN, Mary can have bragging rights on her resume and , oh well pretty much everything the rest of her LIFE, that she was in an Academy Award-winning movie.
And that would be pretty awesome.
Cheer for Mary! Vote for her sister (that would be me)....
Images courtesy: kansascity.com, screenjunkies.com
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
I'll have to settle for living vicariously .....
Since I'm sadly no longer available (no offense, Fred), I'll have to settle for my sister landing George and I'll get him as a brother-in-law.
Here's a little rap song I wrote to commemorate this soon-to-take-place occurence:
My sister's name is Mar-y
And let me tell you where-she
Will be soon, in Hawai -i
She'll be acting with George Cloo-ney
I know that very soon-he
Will fall in love with my sis-tuh
And I won't have to call him Mis-tuh
'Cus in law he'll be my bro-thuh
We'll be a family like no o-thuh.
I know, I know, don't quit my day job.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Kazakh sun-bathing
This is Julie lounging on a pool chair (is it time to store them away for the season yet?) during a snowfall. Don't think she's quite got the concept.
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