It's Not You, It's Me....

It's been a while since my last post.

For all the reasons I've been giving you for why my schedule has cut back, it's now grinding to a halt.

It's not that I don't enjoy blogging.
It's not that I don't have fun putting up pictures and writing about the goings-on of my fambly.
It's not that I don't enjoy hearing from you all, and interacting with you through comments and email.

It's not you, it's me.

Work.
6 kids.
Some fluid number that I keep losing track of number of animals.
RAD.
PTSD.
Teenagers.
Cooking.
Cleaning.
Broken appliances.
Broken gates.
Runaway ponies.
Vets.
Farriers.
Doctors.
Dentists.
Orthodontists.
Medicine.
After-school activities.
And more....
      and more......
          and more.......

Sigh.

Anyway, I can't keep up with it anymore. I admit it.

I've got to let the blogging thing go, as much as I hate to.

I won't give it up completely, but I will no longer keep any kind of regular schedule.

It won't be forever. I hope to get back to blogging regularly again someday.

But today is not that day.




Thanks for always being there for me, and for all the support you've always given me! I have the best readers.

You guys really do rock.

Love ya'!

A New Shejhule...

Sigh...




Heavier sigh....



The time has come to make some changes.

I had hoped when I started back to work that I wouldn't have to give up any of the time I give to writing, but that isn't working out so well.

If it was just finding some time to actually "write" I don't think it would be as much of an issue. But what I need is time to write stuff, time to submit, time for blogging and sharing and linking and engaging and tweeting and all those other things that make up the social media landscape that is so integral to developing a platform nowadays.

And all those pesky children and pets of mine still expect me to feed them and stuff.

There is just no longer the time in the day to get it all done.

Or so my blood pressure has been telling me.

So I've had a talk with myself, and we have decided it's time to cut back a bit. Starting with this-here blog.

I'll still blog, it just won't be seven days a week any longer. Who posts seven days a week anyways? Just crazy me.

Let it go, woman, let it go....



Here's my new schedule:

Monday: Off
Tuesday: Tuesday Archive Link-Up blog hop
Wednesday: Wordless Wednesday
Thursday: Off
Friday: Farm Friday
Saturday: Sometimes guest posts, sometimes odds and ends
Sunday: Something family/life-related


Letting go can be hard, but I know it's a change I have to make.

Here's hoping it's a change my readers and I can all live with!


And thanks for being the awesomely devoted amazing readers that you are!

Love you all.
XOXOXO


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Thanks!


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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Wordless Wednesday

Happy May!

You know what that means. Mother's Day is fast approaching.

Know what would make the perfect gift?

Insert shameless plug here....

Miracles and Moments of Grace.

That's right, the book I have a story in.

Order it today!!



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Throw me a vote? You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.



Thanks!


*************

Check out my blog-hoppin' schedule in my sidebar, and come join the fun!

*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Summer's interview

Hey, what's this Top Mommy Blogs vote button doing at the top of my page?
Well, I'll tell ya'.
I was getting pretty darn comfortable with my first page status.
Maybe a little TOO comfortable.
As in, I've been on the second page now for a few weeks.
I don't like it there very much.
No offense, my fellow second-pagers.
So I'm hoping if I put the button at the top of the post, folks might be more inclined to vote?
Remember, it's just a matter of clicking the juggling chick and you've voted.
You can vote every day till like, forever.



Thanks!


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Hey!

I was interviewed!

I was interviewed by someone really cool!

Summer, of Writing Like a Mother is doing a series of interviews with Moms who are also writers, and she asked if I would like to take part.

But of course!

So please head on over to Writing Like a Mother to see what she had to ask and what I had to answer.

It promises to be fascinating....

(tee hee)





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Read it.
Like it?
Follow it.
Please?
Thanks.
(Follow my blog by adding yourself as a follower with Google Friends Connect in my sidebar!)


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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Guest Post - Jennifer Grant

Remember a couple days ago when I wrote a book review on MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family? Well, here for you now is a guest post by none other than the author of that book, Jennifer Grant. Take it away, Jennifer!



A Guest Post by Jennifer Grant
author of MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family
March 26, 2012


The Funny, Broken, Love of Parenting

I click open a Facebook message. A friend has sent me a word search and tells me to let my eyes fall onto the image and take note of the first three words that I see. These are the words that best describe me, she promises.
I shrug, take a sip of coffee, and glance at it. “Funny,” “broken,” and “love” are my words.
When I close the message, I’m tempted for a moment to try again. What other words are hidden in that tangle of letters? Maybe on my second try, my eyes will land on a combination such as “smart,” “attractive,” and “successful.” (That would be nice.)
I don’t give it another try, though. The words I read the first time are just right considering how I’ve been spending my days for the past several months, thinking and writing about the family in which I am the wife and the mother and about my family of origin, where my story began.
Funny, broken, love - sounds like family.
MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family is about my own missteps and small victories as a mother. Over the years, after beginning my parenting journey – as so many of us do – staggering under the weight of the expectations I had for myself, I’ve loosened up. I’ve come to learn that none of us is perfect. We all fail, misunderstand our kids sometimes, and mess up in countless ways. In MOMumental, I share stories of some of my “epic fails” as a mom.

The dire messages that flash on the computer or television screen that warn what a mother absolutely must or must not do no longer hold me tightly in their grasp. I now look at myself – and at other mothers – with less judgment, knowing that we all work it out, there is no manual for motherhood, and that the most important thing in raising kids is to be authentically connected with them.
(And a person can do that whether she serves microwaved macaroni and cheese to her kids for lunch every day or gives them homemade bread and a sampling of organic greens from her vegetable garden. Whether or not she homeschools them, uses “the family bed,” or exposes them to Mozart by the time they are six days old.)

I hope in sharing my own personal – and often quite cringe-worthy – story in MOMumental, other parents will show themselves, and other parents, more grace as we raise our children.

To me, those three words – funny, broken, and love – are great ones to reflect on when I think about the gift of family. To be able to enjoy our kids, repair our relationships with them when needed, and most of to love our children like crazy covers a multitude of parental crimes and misdemeanors.

Wishing you all the best in your own messy family-making adventures!

Image courtesy: redbudwritersguild.com

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Thank you, thank you, thank you!

MOMumental - A Book Review

I was recently approached to ask if I would do a book review for the book MOMumental (Worthy Publishing), by Jennifer Grant.

Though this isn't usually the kind of thing I do, I thought, why not?

Why not indeed.

So....

More than just another parenthood/raising a child book for you to chuckle your way through and say to yourself, "Amen! I've been there!", MOMumental is Jennifer Grant's reflections on the grace of family.

Although it's true that it is filled with great parenting pointers and plenty of humor, it is more than that. It is a reminder to slow down, slow your children down, and inhale the moments:
"Too often when we travel at the speed of modern family life,
we're in a blur. We fail to slow down, take a breath, and
see God's grace all around us. Maybe modern families would
do well to clip-clop along like our Amish friends once in a
while instead of strapping ourselves in, tucking in our ear
buds, and keeping our eyes glued onto brightly lit screens as
real life flies by us."

I'll be honest, some of the ways the author proposes we slow down left me feeling a little...judged. Don't we all? All the time? There are so many different types of mothers we're supposed to be: the parent raising academic scholars or Olympic athletes, the newest fashion Mom with blinding white teeth and perfect highlights whose children look like they've been ripped from the pages of a catalogue, the oh-so-crunchy Earth Mamas who wouldn't dream of buying "one-use" items such as disposable diapers or paper napkins. Ms. Grant herself admitted right there in the pages of the book to making the decision to remove the TV so the kids wouldn't be exposed to commercialism. And to buying only high quality toys for her kids, not the cheap plastic junk that fills most houses. And for a moment, I hung my head in shame as I read on, feeling the blush of guilt as I wondered how badly I had damaged my own kids in their formative years.

But I needn't have worried. I soon learned that the author had only fallen victim to the same How To Be A Great Mom pressures we all have, only she acted on those pressures more than I, in my laziness, ever did. With a little experience, and an eye to things that truly mattered, she was able to focus on Being A Good Mom: connecting with her family, and letting her children just be children, and let most of those perfect-Mom pressures fall by the wayside.

Ms. Grant lets her readers know that it's OK to not overanalyze everything our kids say and do. In fact, it's better than OK, it's neccessary. Because sometimes, things have a way of working themselves out much better without our overindulgent micromanagement. She spoke to my large family heart when she said:
" ...one argument in favor of having bigger families. You just don't have the time to fret over each and every thing your child says, does, or feels. Things pass. Fall between the cracks. Get forgotten. And that's okay."

Perhaps my favorite thing from this book is her parenting philosophy about "letting out the rope":
"...visualizing myself literally releasing a skein of rope, foot by foot, as my children grow older."

Can I tell you how much I love this? So much. When they're little, you release that rope verrrrry slowly, inch by inch. By the time they're teens, you can more freely let that rope go. Let them stand on their own two feet, but still tethered, still supported. Love it.

And you will love it.
MOMumental. Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family.
Check it out!

On Amazon:

On Barnes and Noble:

Watch for a guest post from Jennifer Grant in the next couple days!







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Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Liebster Tales

As my kids would say,

Cool beans.

A fellow blogger presented me with the Liebster Award!

She said to me, she said:

"Because your blog brings me happiness and a sense of comfort..."

I know, right? How nice is that?


So, Miss Kelly Williamson, I say to you, a humble thanks. For the kindness.

And now for the rules:


The Liebster Blogger Rules are:

1. Thank the one who nominated you by linking back (check - above).
2. Nominate five blogs with fewer than 200 followers (check - below).
3. Let your nominees know by leaving a comment on their sites (check - any minute now).
4. Add the award image to your site (check - above).


And now for the newest nominees:

Lissy from Giggles and Screams.
B/c I've BTDT, but now I get to look back and laugh when you're going through it.

Denise, from Fostering a Blessing.
Because I've never seen anyone try so hard, and think of others before themselves as selflessly.

Kristi Carver, from Kristi Carver's Blog.
Because you are perfectly imperfect, you make me laugh, and you show me good food.

Linda from The Whatnot Shop.
Because you are funny. Because you are real.

Joy from Joy's Book Blog.
Because I like your goal-oriented approach to things.



So. Now that this is posted on my blog, I am off to drop notes in their inboxes. It's like May Day, only with no baskets. And just a tad late.

Thanks again!




PS: This just in.... I found out last night that Linda Hatton, one of my nominees, also named me in the Liebster! So here's a shout out back at her, both as a nominatee, and a nominater. Thanks, Linda!



Throw me a vote on Top Mommy Blogs? Just one click of this button (below) and you've voted. You can vote every day!



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Not Such a Scary Mommy: Jill Smokler

Wow.

All my bloggy friends are going to be SO jealous.

I got to meet THE Jill Smokler last weekend!

The Scary Mommy herself.

Met her.
Spoke to her.
Got her autograph.
Got a picture with her.

Oh yeah, uh-huh.

Last week I was browsing through the blogs I follow, and when I got to hers, she said she was doing a book-signing not from from where I live.

KIDS! Who wants to go to Barnes and Noble tomorrow?!

So I loaded up the car with about five of them (or so) and got there just in time for her reading to start.

I laughed, I cried, I found myself.

And then she did a wonderfully entertaining Q & A session.

And then of course I bought the book. And got in line. And like I said,

Met her.
Spoke to her.
Got her autograph.
Got a picture with her.

Jealous much?

Oh, and I don't know if I told you all this (I found out about a week ago), but she is featuring one of my posts
ON HER BLOG
on April 26th.

Mark the date on your calendars so you can be sure to see my name up in lights.
And then you can go there (Scary Mommy.com) and comment and share, share, share! How much fun does THAT sound like, right?

Anyway, here are a couple pictures of her book, her autograph, and the two of us posing as old besties.









































She didn't need to go and write "Stay scary", though. As you can see from the picture, I am already quite scary enough, and have no true desire to stay that way.


Oh, and PS? She also gave me some advice when I told her I was shopping for an agent, and trying to build my platform. She said I should switch to a fan page on FB, not just a regular-ol' FB page with friends. So I did. So now you can click on the little thumbs-up button on my sidebar (just below my followers) to "like" me. Yay!

Thanks, Jill!







I still have Top Mommy Blogs, of course. Just one click of this button (below) and you've voted. You can vote every day!



Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Goals

I'm taking part in a challenge, orchestrated by a man named Robert, on his blog My Name Is Not Bob,

how awesome is that name?

in which he is challenging other bloggers to increase their platforms.

Why do I need to increase my platform, you ask?
Because if I hope to ever see my book in print, I need an agent. And if an agent is to become interested in representing me, he or she will want to see that my platform encompasses more than about two people.

So in one of Robert-not-Bob's recent challenges (he has a new one each day this month), he asked his participants to set short-term and long-term goals.

And would you like to know what I listed as one of my long-term goals?

.....

cricket-cricket

.....

I said, would you like to know what I listed as one of my long-term goals?

Thank you.

I hope to get to the point where I have 1000 followers on this-here blog. That's right, 1,000 followers.













Sounds impossible, right?
It's a ridiculous goal, is what it is.

I know. But I think it can be done. I 've seen plenty of blogs that have this many and more.

I CAN DO THIS!

I am willing it from the universe.

I am placing my order with the Almighty.

I am sending my positive energies out into the world with this thought, for it to be boomeranged back to me with so many followers that all of Microsoft crashes
it could happen.

So where do you fit into this?

Simple.

If you have not already done so, just go to my sidebar on the right, find the follower's section (just beneath the picture frame that says, "If you are here, you are awesome" (it's true, you know)

And click the pretty blue button that says "join this site".







That will take you to a page where you can click "Follow this blog"
And lastly to a page where you click "Done".

And just like the button said, you're done.

Without any fanfare or hoopla, you will be a follower on my blog. Just like that.

Now, if you're super into helping other people accomplish their goals

(so you can, you know, procrastinate on accomplishing your own, like I like to do),

then by all means, spread the love around by sharing my blog on whichever of your social media sites tickle your fancy. I even have a few share buttons on my sidebar, too!

Anyway, I've gone on far too long about all this.

I hope you follow. I hope you can pass this on to maybe two more friends that will follow.

Then grab some popcorn and sit back and have more fun than you can imagine watching my box of followers get bigger and bigger, and beam with pride knowing you had much to do with that growth.

Like the frame in my sidebar says,

If you are here, you are awesome!





And hey, now that I've got you in a clicky mood, if you feel you just have to click a few more buttons or you'll die, I have a couple more things you can click:

Vote for me on Circle of Moms Top 25 Adoptive Families Blog!
Just click this badge, then scroll down to my blog, then click on the Vote button.
You can vote every day till 4/27.
Thanks!!!!!





And let's not forget good old Top Mommy Blogs!
Just one click of this button (below) and you've voted. You can vote every day!






Image courtesy: thethunderingherd.com

Adoption Tuesday - A Book Review

I received an email recently from a woman named Karen Henry Clark, who is a fellow-adoptive Mom as well as an author. She has written a children's book about adoption entitled Sweet Moon Baby, and she asked me if I would review it.

So here ya' go, folks, my first official book review:





Sweet Moon Baby, An Adoption Tale, is a beautiful story with a fairytale feel that tells the tale of a child born, then let go by her birth-parents, then found and loved and raised by her adoptive parents.

The simple text of the story, coupled with the achingly gorgeous illustrations of Patrice Burton, will help the young child follow the journey of a baby girl born in China to parents who loved her, but who knew in their hearts they could not give her the life she deserved. As the child is carried by the river, and helped along her path by a few protective creatures such as peacocks and pandas, monkeys and turtles, her adoptive parents across the world wait and prepare and search for their daughter.

Under the watchful guidance of the wise moon, her parents find her at long last, and the three become a family.




I loved so many things about this book: the illustrations, the love for their little girl from both the birth parents and the adoptive parents, and the "caretaking" of the baby that took place along her journey. I followed up my reading with a few questions of the author:

Anne Kimball: Such a beautiful story, and so many wonderful examples of how the baby was loved and watched over and yearned for. However, what can you say to the child that might feel uneasy about the birth parents placing the child in a basket on the river?
Karen Henry Clark: I understand. I had a hard moment of truth minutes after our daughter was given to us. My husband held her as I looked through the documents, and my heart stopped at the words: "Baby found forsaking on steps of leather factory." Instantly I felt the isolation, the emptiness of that night for her. Was she awake? Did she cry for her mother? Does some part of her remember people looking at her and walking away? Because there is no way to know, I tried to create a story to fill the mystery that will always be with her. When I read the final draft of SMB to her, she smiled and said, "That baby slept through all the best parts!" And who wouldn't love to believe they'd been carried past the moon by a peacock?

In the end, I appreciate that literature, even a picture book, challenges readers to ask questions. There is always something deeper behind the thing that confuses us or touches us on the page.

AK: How did you decide to write your story in this style?
KHC: When we adopted our daughter from China, we discovered all kinds of interesting things about how the related books affected her. She never grasped the stories that convey one animal can love/mother an entirely different one. She didn't connect with those metaphorical tales of personification. One autobiographical story about an adopted Chinese baby left her thinking the baby would be returned to China because of a reference to the birth mother at the end, not the impact we would have hoped. So this set me to thinking about the kind of story I'd want for her.

Explaining China's one-child policy and all the social or cultural preferences involved in the subject just didn't seem to belong in a picture book. I knew I wanted her to feel loved, not abandoned. So I decided to avoid the non-fiction approach because that was already on the market. I decided to set the story as a classic, timeless fairy tale. I hoped that note would be immediately struck by the book's subtitle Sweet Moon Baby: An Adoption Tale. The characters have no names. The story is meant as a metaphor. I try to keep the elements simple to suggest at the most basic level why or how people decide what they decide. The parents face issues that a child might understand more easily than a centuries-old preference for boys. The adoptive parents wait and pass the time with happy things, instead of writing about failures with foster children or infertility or stacks of forms--real things beyond the comprehension of a young child. The moon represents Hope/Faith/Destiny/God. A certainty that adults can feel and believe in but can't always convincingly explain. And the river is the force, the current that surely moves that baby along home. I felt compelled to show, because of my daughter's early thought about a child returned, the little girl growing up in her new home, happy and loved and cared for by all the wonderful things her birth parents always wanted. And it is suggested that the goodness of China remains with her forever.

AK: Do you ever find that children question the fiction of the forces caring for the baby along her journey?
KHC: Because Sweet Moon Baby is a tale, it presents the important distinction of fiction: A reader is asked to suspend his disbelief. Children are in varying stages of being able to do this. Does any child ask: "If Cinderella falls in those glass slippers, won't her feet be cut to pieces?" or "Couldn't Goldilocks be killed by the bears when they find her upstairs?" The valuable point here, to me, is that they ask the question so the adult can help them understand the overriding theme involved. The significance of the glass slippers is their value as the clue, not as danger. The bears do not represent death, they are self-respecting homeowners who don't deserve this nosey intruder.

What better place to face the potential problems of a river than on the lap of a parent who can guide a child to see that no matter what the potential peril, a kind soul helped? The baby is saved and saved again. A child deserves to have reassuring answers. That is how confidence grows.




Thank you Karen! Beautiful book. Look for it on Amazon.




And thanks to my readers for voting! Just a click of this button....

Disaster

My house is a disaster.

It is messy. It is dirty. There are stacks of papers that need tending. The garden is full of weeds. There is dog hair in every nook and cranny.

I am a mess, as well. Although I must say I have been finding the time to shower and put on clean clothes and wear undergarments of a supportive nature.

Usually.


Why this neglect of house and home and self?

I was working on, but have now finally finished....

MY BOOK.


That's right. For the last year and a half I have been working on writing a book.
















The first draft is now finished.

I sent my first official query letter to an agent on Thursday, September 1st.

I am expecting my first rejection letter in just a few short weeks.

I will frame it and hang it on a wall.


I know there is still much work to be done with making changes to the first draft and sending out query letters, but I must say I am glad I have made it this far. There were times I doubted that I could.

But I have received so many warm, encouraging comments from my readers to do this.

I wanted to honor that.

And James has made so much progress in becoming part of our family.

I wanted to honor that.

James would ask me now and then how the book was coming along. To him, it's been extremely important that this story be told. He wants others to see that it can be done. With love, and patience, and persisitence, it can be done.

And I wanted to honor that.

When I First Saw You

Don't know if you'll be able to read this (if you have trouble, you can click on it to enlarge it), but it is a poem James wrote for me for Mother's Day.

Cry?

Uhhhh, yeah.


When I First Saw You

Published Again!

Just got word that I'll be getting published again! I had submitted a couple essays to an editor putting together a book on foster parenting and I've learned that at least one will be making it to print and possibly the other as well.
Now I just need to put together a bio and send in a picture. Whaadya think my chances are that I'll be able to dig up a photo of all eight of us that's free of:
a)one kid holding up devil's horns over another's head
b)nose-picking
c)someone crying over being stepped on/poked/shoved/looked at
d)deranged looking parents telling everyone to cut it out this instant and just smile, dammit!
I'd say slim to nill.....

Published!

Got word last week that an article (essay?) of mine has been accepted for publication! It will appear in the September issue of Adoption Today. I figure this is not only good for me, as I've discovered I truly enjoy writing, but good for adoption if I can get some of my views out and be an advocate of sorts.