I guess when they ran the Adoption Blogs contest last year, it was suggested to the powers that be that they open it up to include not just adoptive Moms, but other people involved in the adoption triad: birth mothers, adoptive Moms, and adoptees. A wonderful idea, in theory.
So they did that. Only problem is, there's just a lot of drama entangled in these two camps. It seems many of both the adopee-rights activists and the adoptive parents are very sensitive, in a polarizing way, about issues they feel strongly about. It stands to reason, I suppose. I kind of got into it with one of them once, and it was not pretty. Such a shame, as I really think we could learn from each other, but it's probably no different than anything else: pro-life vs pro-choice, dem vs republican, breast vs bottle, you name it.
Here is the Circle of Moms announcement about dropping the contest:
Top 25 Adoption Blogs by Moms – 2012
UPDATE: After serious consideration, we have decided to cancel our Adoption Blogs by Moms – 2012 contest. Our Top 25 program is meant to celebrate, connect, and support mom bloggers. Following some feedback from participants in our 2011 contest, we decided to make this year's Top 25 more inclusive. In doing so, we unknowingly stepped into a very sensitive issue and debate, and we apologize to all the moms who have been offended, no matter what your position on adoption is. We're committed to finding a way to give all parties in the Adoption Triad a voice on Circle of Moms. If we run a Top 25 Adoption Blogs in the future, we'll consult with mom bloggers in each part of the Adoption Triad on how to create a supportive contest where all bloggers would feel welcome and respected by Circle of Moms and by all participants. We appreciate the time and energy every participant put into this contest during the past week, and we sincerely regret that we can't reward those efforts in the way we had planned to when we launched the contest.
Are you a mom who blogs about adoption or foster parenting? Whether you're an adoptive mom, foster mom, adult adoptee, fostered adult, or mother who placed a child for adoption, we're looking for mom bloggers who write about adoption or foster parenting in a supportive, positive way.
Voting ended on Apr 26, 2012 at 4pm PT. Top 25 Adoption Blogs by Moms – 2012 is now closed.
Anyway, I wanted to thank all of you wonderful people for voting for me. I know if the contest had continued to play out, you would have gotten me into the top 25, easy peasy. Y'all are the BEST!
But fear not. There's still a vote-for-me contest goin' on. There's always a vote-for-me contest goin' on. Top Mommy Blogs! Just one click of this button (below) and you've voted. You can vote every day!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sorry they had to cancel to contest, it is annoying when people get into the "I'm right, end of discussion" mentality, particularly when you are all working together on the same issue. That's people for you, though.
ReplyDeleteWise words, Ann, wise words....
ReplyDeleteI am a voluntary domestic adoptive mom to 4. I had the "best" of situations as possible going into adoption...everyone was willing and able...and there was still ALOT of drama. I have a 5 week old baby right now and usually read the "large family blogs" that were in a contest months ago of COM. I saw the adoption contest and thought I would check it out. I only read a few blogs quickly...but what struck me as odd was that the triad as they call it were all included. I got this sinking feeling inside. When I read that the contest was cancelled I was not in the least bit suprised. I mean really????
ReplyDeleteAdoption is a super complicated process/issue for ALL involved. There will always be multiple sides to even the best of adoption stories about how it all played out in the end. There were tend of thousands of dollars lost by our family in travel when one of our birthmothers changed her mind repeatedly at the birth and after..not for wanting to parent..but for trying to manipulate the boyfriend to marry her or she was keeping the baby thus child support etc....we had an adoption fall through when a birthmom lies and said birthfather was "unknown" and got out of jail the day of her induction. It did not end well for anyone..i will spare you the details of her abduction..
i guess what I am trying to say is even under what should have been pretty good circumstances(a voluntary domestic adoption) many many things went awry. To have the "triad" all in the same room for coffee would be a little tense at times...to pit them against one another in a contest was very foolish on the part of COM.
Anyone could have seen that there should have been 3 sub catergories. One for each part of the triangle. Sorry you didn't finish the contest. Not sure what you get? Bragging rights? It's all a little too much like "American Idol" with the people voting from multiple computers etc to get the most votes. At least on the large family blogs that is what they were doing...
You're right, Anon. Too much emotion, too much at stake personally for all members of the triad to be a part of the same 'something', especially when that something involves votes. As to why I was motivated to be a part of it, one was for pure selfish reasons: it can drive traffic, which is the name of the game in bloggy world. Also, though, I feel like the more people read, the more may be open to the concept of adoption. And that's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts. Sorry you had such a rough time....