And Then A Hero Comes Along .....

So Julie is just beginning to learn to swim sans "swimmies". I was sitting poolside, reading a book while watching the kids. Only Julie, James and Rosie remained at the pool, the others had gone in already.

All of a sudden I realized Julie had swum into the deep end and she was struggling to keep her head above water. She was less than a foot from the wall but couldn't seem to reach it. I jumped up and ran around the pool to help her. But before I got there, James had dived in and crossed the pool in about a second. He got her head above water and pulled her to the swim-out bench where she could sit and catch her breath. She was scared but we both sat by her and eased her fears for a bit, and then gently encouraged her to get back in at the shallow end for a few minutes before getting out.

Now we're all in for the night. Julie is showered and dry and all cozy in her pajamas. Big brother has gone off to play video games and has likely forgotten all about his moment of heroism.

I don't think Julie or myself will be forgetting anytime soon ....

We're Goin' To The Zoo-Zoo-Zoo

Yesterday we took our big crew
And drove to the Philadelphia zoo.

It was crowded and hot, but it mattered not,
For the breeze made us feel nice and cool.


We ate picnic lunch on a rock
While the kids cavorted with a peacock.

They ran 'round some more, then we went to explore,
And so we set off at a trot.


We saw many things in a day,
Such as gibbons and otters at play.

We saw monkeys swoop and elephants poop
And thought admission was a small price to pay.


The kids pressed their face to the glass
When they saw the babboon's funky a--

And after awhile, saw a Nile crocodile
And a tortoise moving slow through the grass.


But soon it was time to go.
To the camel rides we had to say no.

Though the kids were sweaty and hot and smelled like socks
They cried they still wanted some mo'.


On the way home we ate.
Burgers and fries and shakes.

We talked and we laughed about long-necked giraffes,
Bats, capybaras and snakes.

We'll go again someday.
To learn and to laugh and to play.


But for now it's relaxing to be sitting here typing
While the kids just hang out for the day.

Mood Mines

It's tricky being me. Each morning and afternoon I have to carefully navigate my way through the house, orchestrating the movements, actions, and words of all the young people around me.
Rosie, for instance, is NOT a morning person. It's best not to be in her path, glance at her, or politely inquire after her health. Her siblings need reminders each new day that they should refrain from speaking to her unless absolutely essential. Her hair being on fire would not be considered essential.
Daniel handles mornings just fine, so long as he is able to follow his "traditions", which include resting in a fetal position on "his" kitchen stool whilst baking his butt in the oven and me serving him up the same breakfast he has every single morning without fail. If he were to come down and see someone else sitting on his stool, I do believe he would spontaneously combust on the spot.
Patrick, on the other hand, prefers to take a more active role in the mornings, acting like a human cattle prod poking and prodding anyone within reach. And he can just about reach to Delaware. He'll keep at it until everyone is screaming and crying or I threaten to remove all sources of fun from his life till he's 30.

The afternoons are better. For some. However, this is when James seems to feel moodiest. If he even THINKS he hears his name he responds with a scowl on his face and a "VWHAT?! Me I not did anything". I need to put James and Julie in separate corners (of the state) in order to keep them from squabbling. She could say to him, "I see a pretty butterfly" and he would find it objectionable. Then they start arguing with each other in Russian, James yelling with brows knit, Julie poker-faced and more subdued, but each with their voice dropped an octave or two. At some point one of them is bound to whip around to me with a wounded expression on their face and hands thrown out, clearly expecting me to rush to their defense.
Me, I just go around playing musical chairs, re-arranging my children around the house like furniture in order to get the most effective layout and the maximal degree of complacency. On the occassions when the physical repositioning has little to no effect, I'll resort to lecturing, which is always good for a few eyes rolling. This is a good thing, because eye-rolling initiates a sibling-bonding process. If lecturing fails to have an impact, I pull out another favorite trick of mine, threatening them with, "Do you want to write .....
The Family Prayer?????"
The Family Prayer is some little Jesus-Mary-and-Joseph thing I bought that has a prayer on it. It goes, "God made us a family. We need one another. We love one another. We forgive one another. We work together, We play together....." and on and on and on. They HATE writing the family prayer and that generally puts an end to most of the squabbling.

Mines defused for another day.

Girl Power

I had to do some fence repairs yesterday, so I checked with the kids to see if I had any helpers among them. Only two volunteered: Rosie and Julie. The rest of the gang were all deeply enmeshed in brain-rotting activities of the utmost importance.

No matter, I took my girls and we loaded up my truck with barbed wire, work gloves, u-nails, hammers, wire cutters, machetes, etc. We drove out into the knee-high grasses of the pasture and got to work. The work in question being hacking away at brambles and briars, stretching wire, resurrecting rotting fence posts, hammering nails into tree trunks, and slamming posts into the ground with the T-post driver. We got scratched, dirty and sweaty, and probably a raging case of Poison Ivy to boot, but we got the job done. Of course, a small elephant could probably walk on through our patches, but lucky for us our horses don't try too hard.

Fence patched, we let the horses back into the low field and Rosie said she could actually see them smiling when they ran out into the tall grass. I know the girls were smiling when they were eating the Rita's I treated them to afterwards.
Who needs boys?

FamilyOfEightSaysWhat?

Got a call the other night from a rep promoting some package deals at a hotel chain. Always looking for a good deal, I decided to listen to her pitch. So she got all my information and told me they were offering special promotions in Orlando. That's great, I told her, b/c we were thinking we might try to get down to Disney next year. The gist of our conversation follows:

Rep: Disney? So do you have kids?
Me: Yes, we do.

Rep: How many?
Me: 6.

Rep: 6. Oh................
Rep: 6?
Me: Yes, 6.

Rep: Would you be taking all of them?
Me: Uhhhh ....well, yes.

Rep: All 6?
Me: Yes, all 6.

Rep: I'm afraid we don't have any rooms that can accomodate that many people.
Me: Yes, I know, we generally get 2 adjoining rooms when we stay at a hotel.

Rep: Well we do have a beautiful 2 room suite with a kitchenette that sleeps 10
Me: That sounds wonderful, can you tell me more about that?

Rep: Well we can only put 5 people in there.
Me: I thought you said it sleeps 10.

Rep: Well yes, but because of fire codes we can only allow 5.
Me: ...............

Rep: You're sure you would be taking ALL the kids?
Me: Which ones would you suggest I leave behind?

Rep: Tense, polite laughter.
Rep: We also have some lovely rooms available in Las Vegas. Maybe just you and your husband would be interested in hearing about that?
Me: Well, it sounds like a nice idea but I don't think we'd be able to take advantage of an offer like that.

Rep: Why not?
Me: 6 kids (think Abbott and Costello, First Base)

Rep: ........Uh......well I'm sorry we won't be able to help you at this time, but if you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to call us at 1-800-large-families-confuse-us.

The Library Card

I hadn't been to the library in about four years b/c the last time I went it seems we managed to rack up over $60 in overdue fines. Figure at a quarter per book per day, even 4 books adds up to $7 in a week. Add into the equation 4 children under the age of 9 and a new house up to the rafters in boxes and, well you can do the math.

But one of the kids needed to reference a book from the honest-to-God library for a school report. So I packed up my pride and most of the kids and drove over to our small-town library and inquired politely at the desk as to whether I still had a vaild card. She clickety-clacked her computer and said (in a rather loud voice for a librarian), "Oh dear, it seems you have some unpaid fines. They're from quite some time ago and it was for a large number of children's books, see?"turning the monitor towads me.

At this point the people behind me are peering at the screen and giving me hoity looks. Trying to retain a shred of dignity, I quickly pull my kids along and tell the librarian, "OK, thanks", with a non-chalant 'I didn't care to check out any books anyway' smile. Not wanting to let it go, she was telling me as I was walking away, "I'm afraid you can't check out anymore books until the fines are paid". I flashed the non-chalant smile once more but kept walking.

Actually I walked right on downstairs to the children's section to gather my thoughts, and it was there that I hatched my evil plan.

I casually strolled over to the children's librarian and ever so cooly asked, "If my son wanted to get a library card, would that be through me or something entirely independent?"
"Oh, that would be completely independent of you" she replied, oblivious to my scheme.

A smile spread across my face as I told her, "Well then my son James here would like to get a library card, please". Before you could say "overdue" she printed out a shiny new card for James. We then took our time moseying through the library, picking out books that interested us and finding the reference books needed for the report. We checked the books out on James' new card, then walked back upstairs to look at one more thing.

Actually, it was just an excuse to walk past the librarian with a pile of books in my arms and watch her puzzled expression out of the corner of my eye.

When I got home, I related the whole story to mu son Patrick. He just looked down at me and said, "You're just takin' down the man, aren't you?"

Now, if we rack up outrageous charges on James' card, we still have Julie.

Beyond that, we may just have to adopt a few more children ....





Image courtesy" vanguardid.com

Happy Mother's Day? You bet.

After so many years of feeling like one of my kids was missing from the picture, I am happy to report that I loved loved loved my Mother's Day this year. Not only did I finally get to celebrate the Big Day with my boy by my side, but with his sweet little sister as well.

I came downstairs to a table full of beautiful homemade cards and gifts from my chillens and an arrangement of wildflowers that James had picked. Next we were chaufferred to brunch by my dashing husband. The place we have gone to every year since I became a Mom 14 years ago has changed owners and is no longer doing brunch, but Fred found us a place that we enjoyed even more. Although we got many stares of incredulity, we had a wonderful meal.
Afterwards we went to a nursery (more stares) and picked out some flowers to plant as well as a few hanging baskets. Home to change and then rolled up our sleeves and got our hands dirty planting impatiens, geraniums, pansies and petunias. The girls and I also worked on our vegetable patch, which has been four years in the best intentions stage. We tilled and planted strawberries, tomatoes, pumpkins, cucumbers, basil and mint.
Took a long break on the couch reading a great book Fred got me ("Coop"), then later in the day headed out the door again for a pizza dinner and then to DQ for sweet treats at the end of the day.
Now I get to sit and blog and read e-mails while Fred handles showers, chores and bedtimes. I'm trying to decide what the best part of the day was:

1)No part in any meal prep/clean-up
2)Deferring all questions and disputes to Fred
3)Yardwork which included only putting in, no ripping out
4)The drop-dead gorgeous weather
5)Dozing in and out of a good book in the afternoon sunlight
6)Putting Julie on the pony's back and walking her around for a few minutes
7)The good food
8)The sweet cards and sweeter hugs
9)Queen-for-the-day treatment
10)The six interesting little people I am blessed to call my children

When all is said and done, I'll take #10, hands-down, every time.