life on the funny farm

Friday, August 17, 2012

Farm Friday - Good Help is Hard to Find

Dear Hollywood Folk That Are Staying At Our House Filming a Show While We Are On Vacation,

Here is a list of things you will need to take care of in our absence:

1) Put our farm dog Annabelle in the barn every evening. She is 110 lbs of muscle and slobber and fur and dewclaws. Watch she doesn't lick you to death.

2) Every morning, let her back out. See warning, above.

3) Feed and water the rabbits in the barn. Keep a sharp lookout for rats. They are watching you and taking notes and just waiting for you to slip up.

4) Feed and water the chickens, and gather the eggs. Do not take your eyes off the spawn of Satan rooster, Big Daddy. He will take you down. He will take you down to Chinatown.


5) Feed and water the cats. Remain vigilant, as they have been waiting for an opportunity to stage a coup.

6) Feed and water the housedogs. You can turn to them as allies if the cats stage an uprising. They won't be of much use, but at least you can say you have allies and that will give you a semblance of security, even if it's a false one.

7) Feed and water the hermit crabs and the hamster and the frog and the cockatiel. They will likely bang their tin cups against the bars of their cages in the event the coup goes down, but they're all talk and no action, so don't let their noise throw you.




Now, as far as food disposal. Don't throw anything out! Throw your apple cores and banana peels over the deck rail for the goats, no peach or cherry pits to them,
old lunchmeat, leftover stew and soup, steak and burger scraps, all that kind of stuff, put in a big bowl for Annabelle, lettuce and carrot scraps save for the rabbits,
for the chickens, here's what I need you to do....crusts and heels of bread, save in a bag for the chickens, you can also give them yogurt and pasta and rice and.....




Wait, where are you going? It's not that complicated, I swear! Come back! We want to go on vacation!

Please...?



24 comments:

  1. Oh Anne, are you peeking in at my house? All this is exactly true and if you think it is hard to get friends to help you move-its even harder to get friends to take care of your animals! :)

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  2. Hollywood just might have bitten off more than they can chew! Maybe it will give someone an idea for a new sitcom...gotta be better than what is on tv now:-)

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  3. I've just come across from the Extreme pet bloggers blog hop.

    That looks fun with all them animals.

    I'm now following you.

    Sheba.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Sheba, so glad to have you here!

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  4. I would do it! But only if you reciprocate ;-)

    Found you on the blog hop!

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    Replies
    1. You scratch my back, I scratch yours? Sounds like a plan!

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  5. LOL! I'd totally do it. We had neighbors watch our place when we were gone. They have farm animals too, though, and totally did a great job!

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    Replies
    1. Maybe it should be, "You muck my barn, I'll muck yours"!

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  6. That sounds like a lot of work. Now I want to see a photo of your dog.

    http://theapels.blogspot.com/2012/08/fun-and-games-outside.html

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    Replies
    1. She's in here somewhere, Alissa. I'll see if I can post a pic of her soon. Her name is Annabelle. You can probably find her if you look under dogs or Sunday Social in my label cloud.

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  7. Go on vacation I know you can d it and you need it. Reality is it is hard to leave but with good neighbours you can do it. I have incredible neighbours and we can both get away when we need to we take trurns. B

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    Replies
    1. We're back now, and I know they were all very well taken care of in our absence. So glad it all worked out!

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  8. Just a quick note to let you know that starting tomorrow, I will begin hosting a new photo meme on my blog. Please come join me at "Orange You Glad It's Friday", and post a photo displaying a little or a lot of orange, my favorite color! Hope to see you there!

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  9. Replies
    1. It's some weird concept that Dads thought up. I think it means to go somewhere other than home where you can enjoy fewer responsibilities. I have yet to go on one.

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  10. I am SO grateful for wonderful farm sitters! Thank you, God! Farm folks need their vacations too but so difficult to find good help,,,as you said. -LOL-
    Visiting via Rural Thursday Blog Hop.

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    Replies
    1. Farm sitters are worth their weight in hay, aren't they? I'm grateful for mine, too. Thanks for stopping by!

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