life on the funny farm

Thursday, October 4, 2012

I-Need-Therapy-Thursday: Sniffng the Vomit.


My youngest came to me yesterday morning before school, holding up a wad of papertowels soaked with a nasty, brownish substance.

"Mom? I threw up. But I cleaned it up."

He walked to the kitchen trash can and threw it out.

I lifted the lid, reached in and pulled out the paper towels.
I held it up to my face and took a big whiff.

insert sound of needle scratching across record

What the...?



See folks, there's a backstory here.

This particular child of mine is, let's say, not fond of school.

In the past he has duped me (more than once, shame on me) into believing he was sick enough to miss school. Here are a few of his tactics:

*Fever: warmed his head with a space heater
*Diarrhea: put Hershey's cocoa powder in the toilet and swirled it around
*Vomiting: held water in his mouth (he can even talk a little bit this way) and then spit it up on the drive to school after it had been properly thickened with saliva.

Oh and there's more. Trust me, there's more.

So obviously, my instinct to sniff the vomit had merit.

The result?

Cinnamon and water.

It looked good. Pretty realistic. Who knew? The kid's got talent.

If only he could use his powers for good instead of evil....






































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What's this? Only two votes away from being back in the teens on Top Mommy Blogs? Very cool. At least, very cool for me in my little corner of the world.

Please everyone remember to click the brown button of the juggling chick. You can click to vote every day.

Top Mommy Blogs - Click To Vote!

Thanks!



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In case you didn't know it, I'm like the queen of blog-hoppin' lately. It's kind of like square dancing but without the dated outfits, smelly gym, and elderly caller.

Here's the schedule I keep:
Monday: Homestead Revival's Barn Hop, The Chicken Chick's Clever Chicks, A Cat-Like Curiosity's Monday Mantras Link-Up, and @ Home Take 2's Mom's Monday Mingle
Tuesday: Heavenly Homemaker's Gratituesday,   Crafty Garden Mama's Tuesday Greens, and The Wrinkled Mommy's Tuesday Archive Link-Up
Wednesday: My Life and Kids Finding the Funny, Tilly's Nest's Down Home, and Crafty Spices Wordless Wednesday
Thursday: A Rural Journal's Rural Thursday Blog Hop, and Two In Diapers' Mommy Brain Mixer
Friday: Deborah Jean's Dandelion House's Farmgirl Friday, Little Becky Homecky's Fantabulous Friday, and Oh So Amelia's Friday Chaos
Saturday: Camera Critter's Life With Dogs Pet Blogger Hop and Country Momma Cooks Saturday Link-Up.

Since today is Thursday, that means I'm linking my post "Mid-week Date For a 40-something House Frau" with Two In Diapers' Mommy Brain Mixer, and "Meat-n-Greet" with A Rural Journal's Rural Thursday Blog Hop.
Come join the fun!

55 comments:

  1. Glad that your suspicions have proved accurate - to date: but could there be more than just "dislike" school involved here? To our cost, we did not take this attitude seriously with our youngest - until the bullying really took its toll.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the insight, Isobel. I don't think there's any bullying involved here. He's just a very complicated kid, is all. He did change schools a few years ago (to a very small, private school), and that helped. Hope your youngest ended up OK...

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  2. Quite the evil genius you have on your hands. I wouldn't know whether to laugh or scream. From here, I can laugh:)

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  3. My oldest did this as well. Don't think I'll let her read this post :)

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    Replies
    1. Good idea, Andrea! Thanks for stopping in....

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  4. this is hillarious!! i had to share with my co-worker we laughed pretty hard and then decided to try it here at work. Thanks for the laugh!

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    1. Too funny, Kelsey!

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. What I have found is that if said person ACTUALLY vomited they would never clean it up themselves. Fake vomit...every single time.

    This did make me laugh. The one I get the most is the "migraine". Can't see it, can't diagnose it, can't prove it wrong.

    My newest thing is that the boys have to go to school anyway and if they still don't feel well after TWO HOURS they can have the nurse call me.

    Neither of them would go to that effort at school so they stay all day. Never a mention of being sick once home.

    Thanks for the morning laugh!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fantastic observation, Denise! Actual vomit NEVER get cleaned up!

      Love your two hour rule. We've gotta outsmart these kids or they'll be the death of us!

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  6. Hi Anne! That was really funny, but I feel for the poor guy! He must get stress at school.

    I've just nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award. Come check it out at
    http://abooksandmore.blogspot.com/2012/10/one-lovely-blog-award-times-2.html

    Tina - mom of 4 and author of 5 blogs

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the award, Christina!! Will check it out soon.

      As for my boy, he's fine. Just rather be home playing video games. Sigh...

      Delete
  7. Love the post! Sounds like your son has a future in special effects in Hollywood! Great looking family... I thought I had a full house but you one-upped me!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Mama! No one-upping in large families, right? Thanks for stopping by!

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    2. I had the exact same though ... seems like he'll have a future on a movie lot somewhere. :)

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  8. Smart kid! Maybe he has a future in the jokeshop business?

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  9. This is so funny! What a creative little boy!

    Amanda Rose
    http://sewmuchtosay.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. He is creative, that's for sure. Gets him in trouble sometimes, but I loves 'im anyway!

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  10. hahahaha!! that is too funny (and disgusting if it weren't cinnamon!) Thanks for linking up from the mixer. Can't wait to read more of your posts too!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Maria! Come back soon, I'm here everyday!

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  11. So hilarious! Glad to have found your blog!

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    1. Thanks, Miriam! Hope to see you back again soon...

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  12. Oh Gosh, that is just too funny! What a little stinker...I give him a lot of credit though for imagination and just plain genius. Will be back and I voted for you!

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    Replies
    1. He is a stinker, Debbie, you pegged him! Thanks for the vote, you rock!

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  13. Since I don't have kids, I can't really commisterate, but it sure is funny! Also brave of you to sniff the "vomit" towels! lol

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    Replies
    1. Not as brave as one might think, if one knew my son, haha!
      Thanks for stopping in, Lady K!

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  14. Before we became moms we would never haved dreamed of this stuff! lol What a funny story! I've got 3 of my own - I've got my own stiffing the vomit stories :-)

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    Replies
    1. Haha, glad to know I'm in good company! Thanks for visiting...

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  15. Now that is impressive. Sounds like he'll be fine even he does miss some school - lots of creativity and smarts to spare!

    Visiting from TALU

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    Replies
    1. I keep trying to remind myself of that, Azara. Thanks!

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  16. What?! My gosh he is one clever kid. hahaha
    You have so many fun stories to tell when these kids are grown and married with kids of their own.

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    Replies
    1. I should write a book. Oh wait -- I have a blog! Thanks, Debbie...

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  17. HAHAHAHA I was never that creative but then again my mom had a built in "skip" day where she'd let us skip no questions asked once a year. We knew it so we used it wisely. #TALU

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    1. What a fun concept, Stephie! Your Mom sounds awesome! Thanks for stopping by....

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  18. My stomach flipped that you took a whiff. I had no idea where you were going with that but I stuck with ya. Wow HE IS SMART!!! ;-)

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    1. yeah, Kenya, I guess that could have backfired on my pretty badly, huh? Motherhood is not for the weak of stomach...

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  19. Thanks for not publishing more of the "tricks" for other evil geniuses to follow. He blew his cover, though, at "I cleaned it up." If only kids knew all of the good stuff published in mom blogs. ;) Ellen

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    1. Ha! How right you are. Thanks for stopping by!

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  20. New follower from the Mommy Mixer. Both of mine are becoming quite creative in their faking tactics. I'll have to keep an eye out on the cinnamon mixture. Stop by my padded room when you have time at http://graceful-disaster.blogspot.com/

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    1. OK, Giggles, you just gave me the giggles: "Stop by my padded room", haha! Off to visit you now. Thanks for following!

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  21. This is AWESOME! I wish I had been so inventive as a kid, I would have gotten out of SO much more school. My husband and I were both pretty sneaky like that so I just cringe to think what our daughter will be like. I'm hoping that I can keep my mommy wits about me enough to be able to "sniff" out the baloney, so to speak. Lol. Thanks for this great post!
    I'm visiting from My Child Centered Life.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Sea Mama, I would keep that one on a short leash!
      Off to check out your blog. Thanks for stopping by!

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  22. So true, Dawn. He keeps me on my toes!

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  23. hahahhaha funny story!
    I just found your cute blog through the hop! I am your newest follower and I am excited to read more about you. Would love for you to stop by and follow along if you'd like :)

    sjdmiller.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. hanks, Sarah Jane! For the follow and for liking the story. Off to check your out now!

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  24. Absolutely hilarious! Since you're blog hopping lately, stop Back to The Basics!
    I'm joining the Aloha Blog Hop again!
    http://back2basichealth.blogspot.com/2012/10/happy-friday-and-aloha-from-back-to.html

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    1. Thanks, Mary. I don't think I know that hop. Will check it out...

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  25. Hello! I found your blog on the blog hop! I'm your newest follower and hoping you'll follow back :)
    lovinglifeinthefablane.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi Jo Lane! So glad to have you here as my newest follower! Off to check out your blog now...

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  26. New follower from the blog hop please come follow me back :)
    http://lifewithtwinsandadramaqueen.com/

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    1. Hi, thanks for visiting and following! Off to visit yours now...

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  27. I'm grateful my daughter likes school, or I think she could someday come up with some evil genius plot like this.

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  28. HAHA! Your son is a freakin' genius! How old is that kid? Still two steps ahead of him though eh! Go Momma!

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