life on the funny farm

Thursday, October 25, 2012

I-Need-Therapy-Thursday: Horses Gone Wild

Rosie's home from soccer.

The boys are home from their morning job.

The pot roast is in the crock pot, and the kids are peeling up a storm for mashed potatoes.

It's laptop time....

I hear a knock on the door and think, "this can't be good". None of the neighbor kids come to play b/c, quite frankly, we kind of scare the bejesus out of them.

We get the occassional Jehovah's Witness, but not too often.

I'll bet Annabelle got out again. Her Invisible Fence collar has been on the fritz lately.

Can't hear what's being said over the din of the 42 five hounds of hell.


Oh no.

"Our neighbor just said our horses are out."


That was the start of The Great Escape debaucle this past Sunday afternoon.

And I didn't handle it very well.

I threw on shoes, and grabbed my carkeys and a dog leash and ran out the door with Julie at my heels.

We found the errant horses only about 1/4 mile down the road, but they were all skittery b/c they're not used to the sound of their own feet clip-cloppin' on pavement, or cars driving by.

Only one of them had a halter on, and in my haste I had only brought one lead rope dog leash.

How to puzzle this out....

I walked slowly over to Pippin, the calmest and friendliest of the trio, and put the leash around his neck so the snap passed through the hand loop.

Sent Julie back to the house for more leads and halters, and some apples.

After she ran off, I was able to walk up to Finnegan and snap the free end of the leash to his halter, so the two ponies were connected together by the same rope, and I was standing in front of both of them.

Hmmmm. This was a recipe for decapitation.

I decided against trying to walk them that way, b/c no way in hell would that end well.

I waited awkwardly for Julie's return, while feeling a dozen judgemental eyes boring into my soul from curious neighbors. I knew what they were thinking....
How could she be so careless with her animals?
Why is she just standing there?
Why are they leashed?
Why are they so unkempt?
Why is she so unkempt?

I wanted to announce that I had just de-burred their manes and tails two days earlier and it's not my fault the tractor is broken and we can't mow the pasture and they're all full of burrs again and I would have done it today but I had to plunge a toilet and clean up a dog vomit and put away the two dozen cans of Progresso soup I got last Friday with the coupoons I ordered and the Pioneer Woman was on! But I didn't think I would be doing myself any favors.

After an eternity, Julie got back. I clipped each of the ponies on their own lead, but Genevieve would have nothing to do with us.

So I started leading the ponies back home, hoping Gen would follow along after her boys.

She did.

And I got them tucked safely back in the side pen, and sent a couple of the kids over to the neighbor with a dozen eggs to say thanks for the neighborhood watch.  I commenced a check of the fence line.

Ah hah. A gate was open.


Fast forward to yesterday.

Another knock on the door.

Another neighbor, letting one of my kids know my horses were out.


This time I was more prepared. I grabbed three leads and two halters. And my camera.
Daniel got the apples, but as his pants had no pockets, he put them in his shirt pockets. He looked.... interesting. A buxom young lad.

And we headed off down the road in search of our runaways.

We ran into Henry, one of our Amish neighbors. He looked me and my gender-confused looking son up and down for a minute and then said,

"You lookin' for your horses?"

Since we were walking down the road looking left right and backwards, armed with halters and leads, it was a pretty good guess.

He let me know that if I walked up the hill and through the field I would find them.

And we did. And we did.

And once again we got them back, but not without a great deal of stress and sweat and angst and judgemental neighbors.

And as it turns out? Some rotten neighbor kids are opening the gate and letting them out. The country version of smashing mailboxes, I guess. So right after I got Daniel to school, I headed straight for WalMart for chains and padlocks. And now all three gates are locked up good and tight, and I just needs me a shotgun to set on the porch with.

I sent another dozen eggs out to the second watchful neighbor.

And now I'm almost out of eggs.  Maybe along with the shotgun, I need more chickens....


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In case you didn't know it, I'm like the queen of blog-hoppin' lately. It's kind of like square dancing but without the dated outfits, smelly gym, and elderly caller.

Here's the schedule I keep:
Monday: Homestead Revival's Barn Hop, Natural Living Mamma's Natural Living Mondays, The Chicken Chick's Clever Chicks, A Cat-Like Curiosity's Monday Mantras, Ponder Wonder's Soul Food Monday and @ Home Take 2's Mom's Monday Mingle
Tuesday: Heavenly Homemaker's Gratituesday, Crafty Garden Mama's Tuesday Greens, and The Wrinkled Mommy's Tuesday Archive Link-Up
Wednesday: My Life and Kids Finding the Funny, Tilly's Nest's Down Home, and Crafty Spices Wordless Wednesday
Thursday: A Rural Journal's Rural Thursday Blog Hop, and Two In Diapers' Mommy Brain Mixer
Friday: Deborah Jean's Dandelion House's Farmgirl Friday, Fresh Eggs Daily's FarmGirl Friday, Little Becky Homecky's Fantabulous Friday, @Home Take 2's Weekend Blog Walk, and Oh So Amelia's Friday Chaos
Saturday: Camera Critter's Life With Dogs Pet Blogger Hop, and Tutus and Tea Parties' Pinteresting Party.

Since today is Thursday, that means I'm linking up my post "Chicken ADHD" with A Rural Journal's Rural Thursday Blog Hop; and "Coffee Clatch" with Two In Diapers' Mommy Brain Mixer

Come join the fun!


Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.


  1. Oh, what a pain. Might want to pass out some seriously good candy for Halloween to get those neighborhood kids on your side, you know, since you all scare them so much. :)

  2. It's so funny because I totally felt for you when you felt like the neighbors would be judging you for letting the horses out. I always think things like that. But I bet 10 to 1 no-one thought anything like that. If I was the neighbor, the only thing I would be thinking is, "What a bummer for her!" Or I'd be coming out to help. Our cows and horses got out a lot growing up, and it was always such a chore to get them rounded up again. Why did theu always get out during the night, forcing us to round them up at 4:30 am in our jammies???

  3. Oh you had me laughing out loud picturing all the shenanigans thank you I needed that. You are funny. B

  4. Hi Anne,

    Thank you so much for stopping by to visit me. I'm so glad you were able to round up the horses. You are one busy lady!

  5. Hey, I think if you can give away 2 dozen eggs and still only be "almost out of eggs" you probably *don't* need any more eggs. ;) Just sayin'....

  6. Chickens! I meant chickens! I was trying to be so funny and sassy and then I said eggs instead of chickens. Ugh. I disgust myself!

  7. Oh believe me I am laughing with you and not at you! When we first moved my horse to our property the deer were forever running through the old pasture fence & the horse would get out - thankfully he just stayed in our yard. Then we bought a pony & he had recently been gelded so every time mares down the road were in heat he would be gone to visit. I became the crazy lady driving up & down the road calling for "Earl" & leading him out the window of my truck with the baby in the backseat. Then we got a goat and twice our newer neighbors have called to say they had the goat in their fenced backyard & he was fine to stay & visit until we got home from work. I find most neighbors are just worried about the horses vs. the road traffic. If they knew horses they will sometimes help but most are afraid they will scare the horses so they watch. Most say how much they enjoy watching them in the pasture. Padlocking your gates has to be a pain when you want to get them out - I'd set up my hubby's trail cam and try to get a picture of the kids opening the gate to report them for trespassing & harassing livestock... ;)

  8. Thanks, all the things I don't think about when contemplating getting my daughter the horse she wants. :) Think we might be a dog-only family. :)

  9. Oh wow...that story reminds me of my childhood..except we accidentally left the gate open at one of our neighbors house and their cow got out. Unfortunately it didn't end so well for the cow :(

    Thanks for coming by and commenting on my blog! I actually have been following you for a while via Facebook.
    Great to reconnect.


    PS ~ I'm not on Blogger so I probably show up as a no-reply. Sorry :(

  10. This is so funny! I love your writing style, your deprecating sense of humor, and these crazy events! Thanks for visiting my blog (my middle name is "Anne" with an "e", too.)

  11. I think you should just electric shock the gate.....that'll teach the little buggers!!

  12. Oh my gosh! What a stressful few days. Sometimes it's not predators on a farm you have to worry about, it's humans!

  13. I think mail-box smashing IS a country thing--at least, when I was growing up our mailbox fell victim once or twice. We didn't have horses, but our goats got loose on more than one occasion. I think most people who live in the country realize that animals get out every now and then. I'm glad you figured out the problem, though!

  14. very nice read! we never had horses but our neighbors did and reading this reminded me of the times that their horses got out and their clip clop on the pavement was bothersome to them, too. Horses are magnificent animals and I was always intimidated by them as a youth. One of my best friends loves horses and I so admire her and her talent with them. You seem to have that same respect from me. Yay!

  15. Thanks for your sympathies, friends! And for your suggestions: from really good Halloween candy to trai cams to electric fencing, good ones one and all!
    April, you had me cracking up picturing you driving down the road, leading your pony, with your baby in the back seat.
    Thanks to all who shared stories of their own about critters getting out -- I'm not alone!
    Sarah, thanks for your perspective! I guess you're right, I don't need more chickens...
    Have a great w/e everyone@

  16. Your stories have me chuckling! I've been reading through your blog getting a good laugh. Sounds like you have crazy-full life, but lots of fun! Oh, I hope you get those naughty neighbor kids (maybe some rock salt in order?). Have a great weekend :)

  17. I love spending a few minutes on your farm. All of the excitement and none of the work. I loved this post. The first non-verbal excuse to the neighbors was hilarious. And thatsa lotta soup! TALU

  18. Love your writing! Reading your posts always brings a smile to my face! thanks again for hosting TALU!

  19. Being a city girl, I find anything "country" fascinating. ~TALU~

  20. Just reminded me of a laugh I got as a kid - driving with my Dad one day when a horse came charging around the corner passing VERY close to an elderly woman who was back-end up leaning over working in a flower bed. She slowly straightened herself up to turn around and see what that sound was, but there was nothing there. She looked very confused - had no idea how close she had just come to being run over by a stray horse. :)

  21. Glad you got them back safely each time and found the source of the problem. TALU

  22. What a rotten trick for them to play! Hopefully the chains and padlocks stopped the pranksters! TALU



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