Series: Open Heart Surgery. Before (Planning).

Three weeks ago today my chest and my heart were cut open and my heart was shut down for about 40 minutes, placed on bypass so the surgeon could make some repairs.

It all went well, they tell me.  But now I'm in this recovery phase, where I'm supposed to sit around and do nothing so my body can recuperate.

"It'll be relaxing" they said!

Ugh.

In the weeks and months leading up to the circled date on the calendar, I prepped meals for the freezer, I deep-cleaned, I organized, I made lists of activities I could do from a seated position. So I was prepared, I thought, to sit and recover.

But I just don't do well with sitting.  It's beautiful spring weather and I want to be doing big ol' projects, getting my hands dirty!

Sigh. My body has been very quick to tell me when I've done too much.  There is no cheating.

Anyway, my sister suggested I write about it on my blog.  She said it would give me something to do, AND maybe help others who are going through something similar.  I thought that made a lot of sense.

So here I am.  I'll write a few posts, with an eye towards passing on what I have learned from this experience.  I bought a few products along the way, so I'll share how they helped or didn't help.  When possible, I'll include links to specific things that worked, but this blog is not monetized, so I gain nothing from your clicks.  So don't even worry about that.

I'm thinking I'll organize this in a before, during and after kind of format. I'll try to just put a little bit of info in each post.  More bite-sized than all inclusive.  Otherwise this thing would be a novel.  But not in a good way.

And let me know if you have any questions!  I'll be glad to answer to the best of my ability.  Plus if I'm engaged in answering questions, I'm less likely to get myself into trouble.


BEFORE

How did I get here?
A couple days before Christmas, I went to the emergency room at the advice of my primary care doctor.  I was having pain in the general vicinity of my chest, and really high blood pressure.  Although I was pretty convinced it was something GI-related, I was being worked up as a cardiac patient. In the end, I was right.  The pain was from a weirdly located stone lodged way up in my liver, but in all the testing and poking and prodding, they found a pretty serious heart problem.

So on Christmas eve, I was told I was going to need open heart surgery. This surgery was going to take me out of commission for several months, as I wouldn't be able to drive or lift more than a gallon of milk for a month, and wouldn't be ready to return to work for about three months.
But because I needed to get the stone thing taken care of first, as well as do a bunch of other tests, the heart surgery wouldn't take place for months.
Plenty of time for an OCD anal retentive gal like me to plan (insert maniacal laughter here).

What to do first?
Like any self-respecting organization-aholic, I started making lists. I made lists of freezer meals I could prep, things I wanted to take care of prior to surgery, and  things I could do while recovering.  I wrote out what I would need to do in terms of my job, and who was going to be able to do what while I was recovering.

There was a lot of information and a lot of things to think about and plan for.  Keeping a notebook can be really helpful in these kinds of situations, although I found my planner had a lot of pages in the back that worked nicely for this purpose.

Here is a list of some of those items to take care of, for anyone who might have to plan a time of convalescence:

JOB
Will you need time off from work?  Let your manager know as soon as possible.  You night need to contact Human Resources to find out if there is any paperwork you or our doctor needs to fill out.
Will you be eligible for disability?  I hadn't been at my new job long enough, but I was able to request a Leave of Absence as an accommodation under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

If someone will be filling in for you in your absence from work, do you need to make them a list of your job duties, things to take care of or watch for so things don't fall between the cracks while you're away?

LIFE-PLANNING
Okay, I hate to say it, but you will want to make sure you have your affairs in order.
Major surgeries have risks, I don't care how good your surgeon/team/medical facility are, there are risks.
To that end, you want to make sure your basic life-planning paperwork is taken care of.  Or if that's something you haven't started, GET started.  Since I had recently gotten divorced, I hadn't redone mine yet, as it was just in my "get-to-it-later" list of things to do.  The surgery pushed it to the front of the queue.

So I went to a lawyer and had all the paperwork drawn up, including a POA (Power of Attorney), a will, and also a Medical (or Durable) POA.  The latter clarifies your wishes on medical issues.  In other words, pull the plug or continue life as a vegetable?  DNR or do everything possible to keep you alive?  I could get very specific here, but I think most people have a pretty good understanding of the basic gist of this kind of document.  It's up to each individual to determine where they stand on these matters. The point is, get it done.

HOUSEHOLD PAPERWORK
Get caught up on bills, and if you have any bills that are not on auto-pay, set that up if you can.  The last thing you want is a late payment fee because a bill didn't get paid when you were flat on your back in a hospital bed.

If you're like me, you have a stack of paperwork waiting for that magical moment when you have nothing else to do and an inspired need to file comes over you.  Yeah, no.  So anyway, now's the time to get caught up on that stuff.
Make a list of who to call for different issues that may arise while you're in the hospital, so whomever is at the house (adult kids in my case) will know what to do if the power goes out, or the hot water heater springs a leak.  That kind of thing.

HOUSEHOLD DUTIES
Find out from your surgeon what your restrictions will be post-surgery, as well as an accompanying timeline of those restrictions.  From there, you can better plan which of your usual tasks/chores will need to be delegated to others.
In my case, since I would not be able to drive for a month, I wanted to stock my pantry with as much as I could, knowing that I would still need to rely on others for runs to the store for weekly perishables.  I set aside a shelf in my basement to stock up on hygiene items, pet food, pasta/rice/beans, cereals, cleaning supplies, etc.
I made a list of chores that are done around the house, trying to include as many things as I could remember.  Cleaning the litter box, feeding the pets, tending the chickens, watering the flowers and vegetable garden, taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the bathrooms, mowing, weed-wacking, grocery shopping, etc, etc.  You get the point.

Then delegate.  Lucky for me, my kids are all grown and three of them still live at home, so that made it pretty easy.  But figure out what people in your life will be able to help.  Friends, relatives, neighbors, folks in your church.  And there's always hired help if you can afford it. Know that whatever list you come up with will probably be very fluid, as life has a way of changing your best laid plans, so be flexible. Also, recovery is not an all or none timeline.  You will gradually be able to take on more tasks as time goes by, and of course that will change the list, too.

MEALS
I knew I was not going to be able to lift more than eight pounds for many weeks, and would have very low endurance.  So I wanted to have some meals at the ready that my kids could pull out of the freezer and heat up for dinner.

Pinterest is a great source of ideas for this kind of thing.  I did a bunch of bulk cooking one day and knocked out over a dozen meals.  Some were complete casseroles in aluminum
pans, some were a mix in a freezer Ziplock bag, which is great for saving on freezer space.  Here are some of the things I prepped:
Storage bags: taco meat, sloppy Joes, spaghetti sauce, chili
Casseroles: chicken spaghetti, fritattas, shepherd's pie, mac-n-beef, baked ziti


Anyway, that's all I can think of for now.

Tune in next time for my thoughts on what's helpful while you're in the hospital.

20-20 Vision

As of tomorrow, we will have a new month, new year, new decade.

While it won't necessarily be a clean slate for me, when I look back on the past decade, it comes pretty darn close.

Because, lemme tell ya', the twenty-teens  and pre-teens were a bitch.

There were so many many things going on in my life and the lives of my children.  

A short list, in no particular order...

driving lessons, marital troubles, homework battles, college, counselling, new kids in the family, soccer games, high school, surgeries for the kids, surgeries for myself, IEP meetings, braces, hormones, graduations, teenage relationships, animal acquisitions, animal deaths, children moving in (sometimes not my own), children moving out, new old friends, middle school, divorce, proms, downsizing, building fences, building chicken coops, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, runaway ponies, moving, mental health issues, re-entering the work force, death of my mother, Residential Treatment Programs, changing jobs, new old name... 

I honestly don't know how I made it out alive.

But here I am, alive and well.

More grey hair than a decade ago.

Healthier in many ways than I was a decade ago.

Ok, parts of my body are literally falling apart and in need of replacement, but that aside...

So with all the change, did anything stay the same?

Yes.

Resoundingly, yes.

My own inner strength and stability.

God in my corner.

Children and animals all around me.

My own unique, creative perspective.  It is mine alone.  Everyone has their own, I get to claim mine and I will be forever grateful for it.

Hope.

Love.

This time ten years from now, I will be on the cusp of 65.  

An empty-nester (except for maybe Bella?).

Retired (in the name of all that is good and holy, please). 

By the grace of God, still in my beautiful home, petting the ears of a dog as I sit by the fire (as I am at the moment), gathering eggs, and enjoying creative pursuits. Only not all at the same time.

As long as my things-that-stay-the-same list.... you know.... stays the same, I can weather whatever the twenty-twenties throw at me.  I've seen worse.

So bring it.

You Can Take the Girl Out of the Funny Farm....

You can take the girl out of the funny farm, but it seems you can't take the funny farm out of the girl.

A couple of years ago, I posted that I was closing up shop on my Funny Farm blog.  Because of life changes.

Like divorce.
Like moving.
Like saying goodbye to all the farm animals.

Well, here it is two years later.  I am in a home about a third the size of my old one.  I am on an acre, as compared to the seven acres on the farm.

And so I thought I was done with all things Funny Farm.

But I was wrong.  It just won't leave me without a fight.  Not the Funny.  Not the Farm.

SO I'M BACK!

I think?

I had started another blog to showcase some of my creative pursuits.  Birdsong Bits and Pieces.

And although I enjoy it, there was always a piece of me that missed my Funny Farm blog.  So I think I want to try to get back to it. Not to sound cheesy, but it was like home.

OK, that was pathetically, ridiculously cheesy.  My apologies.

Anyway, with all that being said, allow me to illustrate why I said the Funny Farm isn't giving up without a fight.
And I promise I will go back and fill in the blanks later about my new place and my Amish neighbors, and where I am with kids and critters, but here is what happened this morning.

*clears throat*


My son woke up and looked out the window to see the neighbor's cow staring in at him.

Consequently, I woke up to my son knocking on my door to let me know the cow was in our yard and he (my son, not the cow) had to leave for school.

Sadly, this steer is being raised to feed the neighbor and his brood, so the only name he has is "Jersey" (which is, surprise, surprise, his breed.  No points for creativity).

I said "Good morning, Jersey, what are you doing here?"
He just looked at me and peed.
It's an effect I have on some, I don't know what to tell you.

He thought briefly about making a run for it, but then remembered what a good back scratcher I am.

I really am, it's true.

So after a little scritch-scratchin', he allowed me to fashion this leash into a heifer halter.  OK, I know he's a steer, but heifer halter has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

My daughter went to Penn State (before transferring to Temple) for a year and all I got was this lousy dog leash.
Sheesh.

As it turns out, Jersey has not been halter trained.
Nor leash trained.
Nor don't eat the neighbor's roses trained.

Son: "Are you sure you've got this?"

Me: "I'm not sure of anything!"


































"Come on Jersey.  You can do this."

We made it to the gate!  We're home free!




































Right?

Just...
A few more....
Steps.....

And one big push.

He's in!

I shut the gate.
Chained it.
Reclaimed my leash.

Walked around the field to look for where he got out.  Found an open gate, so I shut and chained it, too.
My work here is done.

Not too shabby,

This was before coffee.

So yeah.

Like I said, you can take the girl out of the Funny Farm...

Funny Farm For Sale

Our home has not found a new owner yet, so I thought I'd repost this.  Who's looking for their dream home???



The Funny Farm's story is coming to a close.
Due to life changes, I will be turning my beloved home and farm over into the hands of a new caretaker.

In other words, house for sale.

Please take a minute to look over the pictures of my wonderful home and think about whether you would like to make it your own.  If owning it yourself is not possible, maybe you know someone who is looking for this exact type of thing.  You know, a place in the country with Amish neighbors, a house oozing with character and charm and history, an old farm house with room to spare and a pond and fruit trees and a barn.

So be a dear and share.

Here she is.  The original stone part of the house is about 200 years old, but about 30 or so years ago, the rest of the house was torn down and built anew, so you get the charm of yesteryear with more modern conveniences like closets and indoor plumbing.
This old house has been a working farm, as well as a bed and breakfast.  Several of the original farm-owner's descendants live right down the road.  Our Amish neighbors have an honor-box produce stand across from our property, and from time to time go fishing or ice-skating at our pond.
This house has great income potential as an Air BNB, horse-boarding, or bed and breakfast inn.
Within an hour's drive you can visit the Brandywine Valley, rich in history and Andrew Wyeth art,  the world-famous Longwood Gardens, Philadelphia and Baltimore.  In two to three hours you can get to the DE, MD or Jersey shores, Washington, DC, New York, and the Poconos.  It is located on the outskirts of the darling and up and coming small town of Oxford, PA, with art galleries, antiques shops, coffee shops and restaurants. Oxford is in southern Chester County, PA, and is near the state lines of both DE and MD, and about halfway between Lancaster and Philly.

The original homestead was about 150 acres, but it was subdivided about the time that the house was redone.
The house now sits on 3.87 acres with a pond and barn.  It has 7 bedrooms, 4 full baths, and 5700 square feet.  The master bedroom has his and hers offices, and there is a large home office on the first floor, as well. There is a walk-up, floored attic and a full, partially-finished, walk-out basement.  Central air was put in shortly after we moved in, and propane heats the hot water baseboards, stove/oven, and hot water. There is also a whole-house generator run on propane, so you never have to worry about losing power.
We also own the adjoining 3 acres with road front, backing to woods and a small creek.  That is available as well, sold separately.


Here is the front porch, with second floor balcony off the master bedroom.









This is the other porch, which overlooks pond and pasture.








The pond has plenty of Sunnies and Bass, so be sure to pack your fishing poles!

The barn is quite versatile.  The front portion you see is where we park a car, the tractor, and all lawn mowers, weed wackers, etc.  Beyond that is the workshop, and leading into the pasture in the back is the barn proper.  It does not have stalls in it, but it would be very easy to make it into a center aisle barn with stalls on both sides.  Currently one side is built into a large chicken coop and rabbit pen. The part of the barn jutting out to the right is what we call the "kid's garage", and it's where you can find all the bikes, balls, outdoor games, and all that.

There is also a one-car garage under the house.

The little well you see there?  The real deal.  It used to be the functioning well for the property many years ago, and there is water down there that can be tapped into for watering the plants during times of drought if you wish.

Here we are inside the house.  This is the cozy family room with wood-burning stove and wide-plank wood floors.

The farm kitchen has an industrial stove with two ovens, six burners, a large griddle perfect for Sunday morning pancake breakfasts, and a broiler tray.  The former owners found this the perfect thing when they were running their bed and breakfast, "The Stonewall Inn".
The plentiful barn wood cabinets and the tile countertops make for a very functional and yet cozy kitchen.

The working coal stove is a nice touch, too.  You can actually cook on it, if you so desire.

This view looks past the eat-in area of the kitchen with built-in bench, into the dining room. The doorway from the dining room leads into the game room where the kids save the universe in video games, or play chess, or hop on the computer. The near door is one of two leading from the kitchen into the family room.










The dining room is perfect for entertaining, with plenty of room and gorgeous views of the pond and land.

This is the entry room and home office, with kid's study area.

Our coat room/pet room/catch-all room.  One of the most functional areas of the house.  Kind of messy, I know, but so nice having a spot for all the coats, shoes, boots, pet food, hats, mittens, you name it.  And I can close the door and pretend it's not there!

Speaking of functional rooms, how about this pantry?  You can't see it in this picture, but there are two aisles, a full refrigerator and a freezer. I have been known to direct my kids to finding the item they're looking for by saying, "Aisle 1, right side, top shelf". I moonlight as a grocery store manager.

First floor full bath.

One of the original parts of the house, the library is rich in character with unique brick floors, beamed ceilings, stone walls....

....and incredible stone fireplace.

Upstairs you will find seven, count 'em SEVEN bedrooms.  Each are large enough to hold a king-sized bed, and all have walk-in closets.  One of the bedrooms (aside from the master) is also en-suite.

 

























Located just off the master bedroom, my favorite room in the house is my sewing room.  Inspired by my grandmother Big Mama, this is where the creativity happens! Whether I'm sewing, painting, or just kicked back on the couch reading or dreaming, it's my peace place.

The master bath has a large soaking tub, dual vanities, and roomy walk-in shower.

I challenge you to find a bigger, more tranquil master bedroom than this.  I love it.  I love it, love it, love it.

Don't you?

The man cave.  Right off the master.  Isn't it amazing?  Old wood floors, cathedral beamed ceilings, stone walls and stone gas fireplace. Lie back on the couch with a fire burning, listen to a horse and buggy clip-clop down the road just outside the window, and be transported back in time.

And now, for a  few shameless farm-love shots.
The old silo is covered in wisteria, and is a sight to behold in the springtime.

Quackly, quackly! Contact Anne at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com to let her know you're in love with her house! She'll answer any questions and invite you to come take a look-see for yourself.