Two Cents Worth of RAD Parenting Advice

Lately my 18 year old "RADish" (my son with Reactive Attachment Disorder) has been going through some rough times.

And I have a perspective that has been of great help to me when dealing with his "issues" (nice word for often not-so-nice behaviors).

Because it's easy to tell yourself to keep emotions out of things and not get drawn into the drama, but it can be pretty difficult to put that into practice when you're in the thick of things; when you have gone through years and years of stress and love and angst and hurt and worry and uncertainty and highs and lows of every kind.

What I do when he's being hurtful, is to remind myself that when I brought my babies home from the hospital so many years ago, they didn't love me. I loved them, cared about them, was able to gladly provide for all of their needs. I did not need for them to love me or show me love in any way in order for me to meet their needs.

So I just remind myself that it's no different now. I can provide for his needs because I am his parent. It is not conditional on whether or not he loves me. Just as with my babies, there is no price he has to pay in order to receive my parenting "services". Love came with my babies in their time. Love will most likely come in his time, though the two timelines bear absolutely no resemblance to one another. But even if it never does, it should not affect my ability to be a parent.

There. That's my two cents of RAD parenting for you.




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Thanks!

Out of the Mouths of ......

Out of the mouths of babes husbands:

Fred (trying to give me a compliment): You like nice. Did you frizz your hair?




Love that man....

Mommy 911

I recently received an email about a new app called Mommy 911.  Looks like something I would have loved to have had when my kids were little and always in tow. 

I thought many of you with younger kids would appreciate it, so with Sarah's permission, here is the info for you:


I wanted to share an app with you, Mommy911App, that can alleviate a lot of stress. Mommy911App provides activities for those long trips to visit family, games to play when you're stuck inside because of the weather, jokes for the whole family and kid-friendly mealtime ideas for those days where everyone is staring at you to come up with a way to feed them. There's also a little something for moms too: inspirational quotes, creative discipline techniques, stories any mom can appreciate, and more.

The app is being offered at $0.99 for Apple and Android devices so it won't come near to breaking the bank. Links to the app can be found at http://mommy911app.com or you can click on the links below.


Sarah Foote
Mommy911App
Rescuing Moms One App at a Time
Download from the App Store
Download from Google Play









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Wordless Wednesday

Eenie at one month old.



(Now she's)Lilly at eight months.




A cutie then, a cutie now.











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Thanks!

Memory Box

I'd like to share with you one of our family traditions.

The Memory Box.

It's pretty simple. I just keep a box in the kitchen, and throughout the year, we fill it up with mementos. Things like movie and concert tickets, playbills, graduation and recital programs, local maps from vacation spots. When the kids were younger, it often held things like special rocks or twigs from hikes, drawings, locks of hair.



The box itself is one of those photo storage boxes you can pick up at craft stores. Years ago, the kids would decorate it, and we would write the year on the top, and into the closet they would go at the end of the year.



I began to run out of storage space about the time the kids bored of decorating the boxes, so now I've been using the same box for the past few years, and I just put the contents into a gallon zip bag at the end of the year.

New Year's Eve, or sometime in the days following, we sit around the table and dissect the box. We reminisce and we laugh and if I'm being honest, we whine and ask when we can leave the table. But a good time is had by all most. We also get to read our resolutions from the previous year (which were placed in the box), and set ones for the new.

How do you all keep special remembrances from the year?



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Thaks!

2014

I don't mean to be a bully to 2013 or anything, but it really sucked.

Oh, it did some things right, to be sure, like a magical family vacation in the Outer Banks, our oldest graduating from high school, our first licensed driver, a visit from Paw Paw and Granny Caggy from Kentucky, a loss of 35 pounds, a change in jobs closer to home, the miracle of birth and the cuteness of the five darling kitties from the stray we took in. Patrick got to go to Italy with a school trip, and Rosie got the travel bug again, going to Bethany Beach, North Carolina, and Hawaii all in one summer, and had a spectacular sweet 16 birthday surprise.

But for the most part it was a big jerk. Kicking us again and again till we were bleeding and crying.

A few of the highlights of what you did to us:
We Came home from vacation to find our beloved little dog Sophie dead. Our older dog Blue was nearly killed when he got hit by a car. He's still left with spinal damage and a dead leg that will remain with him the rest of his life. You gave my laptop a virus not once but twice. The first time, I lost every story I had ever written. Gone. Poof. Three family members were hospitalized. Yes, three. My daughter Julie in August, Fred on Thanksgiving morning through the following Monday, James the day after Thanksgiving though the following Wednesday. Acute renal failure for Fred that required weeks of dialysis. Weeks that seemed like months as he dealt with crippling nausea, headaches, fatigue. Mental health issues that have brought me to my knees. Meetings after meetings after meetings that in the end don't seem to make any real meaningful difference.

I was so fed up, there were times I didn't even cut the box-tops off the cereal boxes. Dimes for the school be damned!

Just to throw one final blow by kicking me when I was down, 2013 decided to give me a cold on New Year's Eve. A parting gift.

Well, 2013, I'm done with you. You are a washed-up has-been. I am turning all ninja on your ass. I will punch you in the throat and kick you in the teeth and you won't even see it coming. I will sit safely in the branches of my 2014 tree, hidden from your view, and I will pelt you with iceballs, guerrilla warfare style.

Adios, 2013.

Dontchou be comin' round no mo.
That's my cajun coming out.
And cajun trumps ninja, so watch out.













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Rosie's Turn

This house now has three teenagers that drive.

One with his license, one scheduled to get his license this weekend (fingers crossed)....

....and one with a brand new permit.

That would be my Rosie.

She took her permit test this past Saturday, and walked away with permit in hand. She said it was the scariest test she's ever taken.





She's been practicing in parking lots here and there for a while now, and I felt she was ready, so I let her drive home. For those of you city-slickers out there, I should tell you that means a bit more than just driving a couple blocks. None of the exam centers are nearby, with the closest being about 45 minutes away.

So with snow on the ground and salt on the roads from the storm the day before, she got behind the wheel, buckled up, adjusted her mirrors, and away she went.

"Oh God", she muttered as the car rolled over the asphalt. "Jesus take the wheel".





She did great. Her first time driving on the roads she drove all the way home from Lancaster. She dealt with twisty-turny roads, hills, little towns, speed changes, and last but not least, buggies galore. She learned the fine art of Amish buggy passing.

Not one horse spooked. Not one middle finger was raised in salute.




She's driven every day this week, and I have to say, she's a natural. She's already driven at night, on the highway, on back roads, and in busy traffic. I barely have to give her any corrections. Bigger than that, I actually feel comfortable when she's driving. Anyone who's ever done driver training with a teen knows that is huge. Those first 5 - 10 hours can be sheer hell, and I've got the scorch marks to prove it.

So I look forward to teaching this one to drive.

More than that, I look forward to handing over my grocery list in six months when she gets her license!








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