life on the funny farm

Friday, February 22, 2013

Farm Friday: Animal Magnetism

I've said it a million times. I don't have a green thumb.

I do, however, seem to have a hairy thumb. Or at least I used to.

The quality of the care of my critters appears to be indirectly proportional to the number of children I have.

Stupid critters haven't gotten the memo, though.

They keep finding me.

For example, on my birthday, we were driving to dinner, when I spied what appeared to be a hawk in distress. Before Fred could say "late to dinner", he was making a u-turn. But as it turned out, what I thought was a hawk hanging upside down by his talons caught in netting above a Little League field, was just the hawk trying to eat a bird that had died in said netting.

Disaster averted.

Walking back to the car after dinner, I spied a little kitty wandering the parking lot. With no houses anywhere nearby, and a busy highway not far away, I figured he was doomed. Soon enough, most of the kids and myself were trying to chase him down in the parking lot, getting down on all fours, peering under cars, shining flashlights hither and yon, but to no avail. We finally had to console ourselves with the knowledge that there were dozens of workers at this strip of restaurants, and surely someone would find him and get him to safety.

Then a couple of weeks ago, the stray cat that had been slinking around our barn for some time finally decided we were trustworthy enough to befriend. She is now living on our front porch in a box filled with blankets, and a never-ending supply of chow and water and belly rubs. We're trying to find a home for sweet little Miss Kitty, and oh by the way, she seems to be pregnant.

You can add her to the list of cats that seem to find us, including Mamfy and Mali who live with us permenantly; like the stray we call Smoky Joe that lives in our barn; and the new long-haired grey, as yet unnamed, that showed up last week.

Of course, cat food on the porch has led to a new critter in town.  Another grey, only this one has beady eyes and a revolting rat-like tail.  A possum.


Then last week, my husband's birthday, actually, there was a bird loose in the house. It somehow flew down the chimney and found its way out in our basement. I caught him with a towel and set him free, but not after he gave chase to myself and four crazed kitties hungry for a little afternoon snack.

This is all just in the last few weeks, mind you.

Yes, animals seem to be drawn to me as if by magnetic force. 

I don't know why.

I do know that the balance point has been tipped.  I am no longer in control.  I am overworked in my duties as zookeeper.  The dog-hair dust bunnies have begun to breed prolifically, I buy more cat food than cereal, and I shall soon be responsible for finding homes for kitties for God's sake.

If something's going to be attracted to me magnetically, why can't it be chocolate or my couch and heating blanket or wine or George Clooney?

Why kittens and fledgling starlings?

Help Wanted:
Assistant Zookeeper
No pay, but you get to pet soft things and clean up lots of poop.

Any takers?


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  1. Oh no! My whole life "things" have found me, often at the worst times. I think we share the same animal magnetism gene. I had to quit putting cat food outside...It started to look like a line at a popular deli. I live in fear that I will wake up and an elephant will be sitting on my porch with a hurt foot or trunk. All I can say is good luck and I understand:-)

  2. So cute! I'm so glad I found your cute blog. Looking forward to your posts in the future :).

    ♥ Talia

  3. Fortunately, our outside dogs keep all intelligent stray animals away from our house, so I'm not tempted to keep any. The not-so-bright or welcome animals, like opossums, moles, skunks, and raccoons flock here. So I can clean up their carcasses.

  4. This is kind of cute! I think we'd end up with a lot more critters in our house if it weren't for two things.... 1. we're all allergic to cats so those strays have to stay outside. and 2. we live in an apartment so I don't think the landlord would appreciate our adopting too many more animals. We do have rabbit and two parakeets at the moment and would love to get a dog but I don't know if the rabbit would like that very much.
    Good luck with all the critters!

  5. Lol! This sounds very much like what happens in my life no matter where I've lived. They always find me!! ;)

  6. Hi Anne - sounds like this goes on everywhere. I was just discussing this topic with another blogger this morning. She keeps finding cats in her barn that weren't there yesterday. I really feel bad for her but I live in a small town on the edge of a rural area and I help with cat-rescue. Everyone seems to have the same issue. So many irresponsible people don't spay their cats and also don't really want them for the 15 years that they usually live. They get dumped at local farms often. It drives me crazy and I feel for the owners of the barns and the poor, confused cats. Not all cats are meant to live in barns and many do not do well. I hope you cat is not pregnant as this world surely does not need more kittens. Lucky cat, though if she is and you are willing to help her. God bless. Deb (Ontario)

  7. Wow, I don't know what to say.. lol You seem to have a lot of animal-related incident going on. A magnet indeed. :D

  8. Ha! I have the same problem :) Found you on Clever Chicks and would love to have you join The HomeAcre Hop on Thursdays at:

  9. Thank you for sharing with the Clever Chicks Blog Hop this week; I hope you’ll join us again!

    Kathy Shea Mormino

    The Chicken Chick

  10. Thanks so much for sharing this on The Creative HomeAcre! I can't wait to see what you share next time at...

  11. Super cute post. I think animals have a sixth sense about our hearts. You, my friend, have a big loving heart! Thanks for linking up at Family Fun Friday!

  12. Sounds like I'm not alone!

    Thanks for coming by, peeps!

  13. Thank you for sharing with the Clever Chicks Blog Hop this week; I hope you’ll join us again!

    Kathy Shea Mormino

    The Chicken Chick

  14. Thanks for sharing your talent on The Creative HomeAcre Hop!
    Our next party goes live Sunday morning at:

    If you have a blog hop, please check out The Linky Love Party...a place to share your parties with other bloggers! Grab the button for an easy way to search for parties every week!

  15. Animals in need find my mom too. Thanks for sharing your kindness and good luck with the George Clooney and chocolate efforts. :) Thanks for sharing on Tuesday Greens!

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