life on the funny farm

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Little Red Corvette

Sweeping my porch the other day I heard the rythmic clip-clop of an Amish horse on the move down our country road. I looked up in time to see the flashiest carriage horse I have ever seen these "Plain" people hitch to a buggy. He was a well-bred Standardbred of a brilliant chestnut red. His tail was a banner carried high above his back. His head was held regally in the air. His knees and hocks reached new heights as he trotted past. He was a breath-taking piece of horseflesh though the inhabitants of the carriage were doing their best to appear unimpressed behind the wheels of their Corvette.

I imagined the conversation that must take place in their household when the teenage son wants to take The Red out for a spin.

Son: Pa, can I take The Red out toight?

Pa: No, son. He's not for you.

Son: But Pa, pleeaaasssse. Just for tonight.

Pa: No. He's too much horse for you. You take the old Morgan.

Son: The Morgan?! I'd die of embarassment to be seen out with that old thing. Why can't I take The Red?

Ma: Eli, let Jacob take The Red. You know how he feels about that girl Sarah.


Pa: (with a twinkle in his eye as he looks at Ma) Weeeellllll. Maybe just for tonight. But if I hear from one of the Elders that you were speeding, you'll be washing and oiling harnesses for a solid month, do you hear me young man?


  1. Love it!!!!! I hear that Prince is a full-blown religious zealot these days, and doesn't perform his "naughtier" songs in concert anymore. So maybe he's do a remake of Little Red Corvette with an Amish twist to it.

    Love your writing!

  2. Loved it the first time...loved it again!

  3. LOL! I can imagine that is exactly how it might go. Too funny.

  4. Very funny! We used to live very near an Amish community when we lived in Iowa. Loved to visit their store...the baked goods were oh-so-yummy! And they did have themselves some fancy carriages with some mighty fine looking horses pulling them along! :-) TALU

  5. What was shocking for me was when I first moved to NY and was in a Joanne's Fabric Store when a bunch of what I assumed to be Amish women came in wearing funky sneakers, etc. along with their traditional dresses and bonnets. Then I saw a set of car keys dangling from one of their hands and was really confused - they were really Mennonite. I didn't realize how similar the two cultures are in many ways. I'm already a pseudo-reality junky, so I can't help but watch all the Amish shows. I'm sure parts are BS, but it's still very interesting. And no, can't say I've seen a buggy horse that fancy around these parts. :)

  6. "If I hear from one of the Elders...ha ha!" I'm with Joell- we used to go to the Amana Colonies in Iowa when I lived there...amazing food!

  7. I have never seen real Amish people ever in my life. I just get to see them when featured in NGC (national geographic channel).. I can imagine ha ha ha from a buggy to a handsomish Corvette. great one!

  8. Thanks for stopping in, guys, and for all the great comments. And now I'm hungry for some Amish baked goods!!!



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