Read her intro and teaser, and then head on over!
I feel privileged to share another brilliant guest post from Anne Kimball. Anne is a bio/adoptive mother of six (gotta love that) and Top Mommy Blogger who writes Life on the Funny Farm. If you enjoy well written, smart and witty writing make sure you bookmark her site!
I think Anne crystallizes a great point in the adoption "debate" when she writes, "Rejoicing in the new does not mean there is not grieving for the old, for one does not take the place of the other. They coexist."
Enjoy....
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In case you didn't know it, I'm like the queen of blog-hoppin' lately. It's kind of like square dancing but without the dated outfits, smelly gym, and elderly caller.
Here's the schedule I keep:
Monday: Homestead Revival's Barn Hop
Tuesday: Heavenly Homemaker's Gratituesday, Crafty Garden Mama's Tuesday Greens, and
and Wrinkled Mommy's Tuesday Archive Link-Up
Wednesday: My Life and Kids Finding the Funny
Thursday: A Rural Journal's Rural Thursday Blog Hop
Friday: Deborah Jean's Dandelion House's Farmgirl Friday
Saturday: Camera Critter's Life With Dogs Pet Blogger Hop and Country Momma Cooks Saturday Link-Up
Since today is Tuesday, that means I'm linking my post "Parallel Universe"
with Wrinkled Mommy's Tuesday Archive Link-Up, "Pumpkins. Bleh." with Crafty Garden Mama's Tuesday Greens, and "Meeting My Babies - Part 2" with Heavenly Homemaker's Gratituesday.
Come join the fun!
Anne,
ReplyDeleteI want to say I so appreciate this post. I have 4 children 7yr and under who we adopted and get comments all the time. The "they are so lucky" has always rubbed Brad and I the wrong way. Really? They didn't chose this. They didn't buy a lottery ticket and get "lucky". i know when most people say this they are coming from a place of kindness and really are trying to say they think our family/parenting/environment is great etc...( we are by the way..lol)
But when they say it in front of the kids..."they are so lucky"...I just get a pit in the stomach. I want to print off your blog post and hand it out like a flyer to this one couple in particular who we see weekly who passes us as they walk their dog and never leave without commenting how "lucky" the kids are..
Instead we smile and nod and say "yes WE are really Blessed to have our children"
It's interesting that they never give pause and think of all the emotions that come with adoption...for EVERYONE involved, but esp the children. I loved the illustration you gave with someone losing a limb..it was spot on. Adoption is not "ideal" but it is great all things considering(getting a prosthetic that is after losing an arm/leg....getting a new family...)
I just felt you wrote it really well. It didn't come across as defensive just as education. It was great! I emailed it to hubby and am getting my family and friend contacts to send it to....it is what I wish I had time to say to many in passing..
Liz
Wow, Liz, thanks so much. Glad it resonated with you. You''re so right in that people seem to be making those "lucky" comments with only the end result in mind. Even though they are well-intentioned, it seems disrespectful to discount what brought the kids to adoption in the first place. Like they just appeared in the garden one night. Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteAnne,
ReplyDeleteAs always, your posts about adoption speak straight to my life and my heart. Thank you again for saying what I feel but in a more articulate and informative way. When friends and strangers alike comment on how "lucky" Lexie is to have me as her mom, the emotion often takes over and I can't seem to find the right words to make them understand that luck had nothing to do with a process that includes heartache for everyone involved. You said it so beautifully when you said "But would we ever think to say how "lucky" he was to have such a wonderful prosthetic? Certainly not. He lost something that was an undeniable part of him. No matter how functional and happy and successful he becomes, he is never thankful that he lost a part of himself." What a perfect analogy and one I'll use when I can privately and respectfully help friends and neighbors to better understand how inappropriate it is to compare adoption to being lucky enough at pick the right amount of jelly beans in a jar so someone wins a prize. See Anne, I can't help the emotion (and sarcasm) that comes creeping into my responses. Thank you for giving me a better way to express my gratitude for a gift that God has blessed me with and the sadness that no child should have to go through to find loving arms to embrace them.
Lou Ann
"Thank you for giving me a better way to express my gratitude for a gift that God has blessed me with and the sadness that no child should have to go through to find loving arms to embrace them."
DeleteWow, Lou Ann, thanks. You just gave me goosebumps. So glad I could be of help to you and your beautiful, sweet little Lexie.
Thanks for sharing, Anne!
ReplyDeleteAny time, Kelly!
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