life on the funny farm

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Shady Deals

I've recently had my eyes opened to a local Facebook yard sale site.

It has, quite simply, changed my life.

I now get to drive to the usual meet-up spot (the parking lot of an old Blockbuster, known in the group as BB) several times a week to make my exchanges.

I buy, I sell, I pass judgement.

Can you believe she didn't so much as wipe the crumbs out of the bottom of this??
Can you believe she would show up without exact change?
Five minutes late? Really? Who does she think she is?


This thing is rapidly growing in popularity. I believe the moderator recently mentioned it is now over 4.000 members. There are sometimes dozens of cars in the lot, hastily coming and going.

To those not in the know, I'm sure the whole thing looks pretty shady. Like there has been an explosion in drug-dealing in the mini-van set.

We sit in our cars, glancing anxiously around for our anticipated exchange partner.
Will she show??
Is that a silver Rav 4?  Damn, it's an Escape.
Checking Facebook messages, jotting things down in our little notebooks.
When we spot the vehicle we've been waiting for, we get out and look around surreptitiously, then hold the item up to the window.  A nod.  Money changes hands and the coveted item is handed over.

Psst! I've got a Longaberger. $10.
Yankee Candles, over here. Get 'em while they last.

Vera Bradley!  I've got Vera Bradley!

And we're a very anachronistic group. Yeah, we've got our own lingo. Like:

NWT, EUC, SFPF, BB, NIB, GUC, ISO, BUMP, PM, OOS, PPU.

SFPF stands for Smoke Free Pet Free Home.
I've not used that one, myself.  Though I have been tempted to describe my items as coming from a WHPBTDS home. That's: We Have Pets But They Don't Smoke.
I'm thinking not many people would intuitively get that acronym.

The group has a moderator, which you can think of as a hall monitor.  She makes sure folks aren't posting homemade items, pets, or inappropriate stuff.  The other day someone posted a picture of a racy t-shirt.  It had swear words on it.  The horror! No sooner did the seller write GUC from a SFPF home, then two or three people put the moderator's name in the comments, so she would come investigate.  I can just picture these ladies wearing pigtails and shirts buttoned to the neck, shooting their hands high in the air and yelling, "Teacher!!"
After all, you just can't DO a thing like that on this site.  Racy t-shirt seller was the equivalent of a burned out meth head with rotting teeth, and the rest of us are all respectable medical marijuana dealers, and the two just aren't meant to mix.

I'd write more, but I've got a meet up at BB scheduled, so I've got to scoot.  I'm scoring a storage ottoman and selling a Bananagram with a busted zipper.


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