life on the funny farm

Friday, May 31, 2013

Farm Friday: Shootin' Shi......Poo.

Farrier was over this week.

You know, my 30-something bronzed New Zealand boy-toy.

And it was a hot day, so this was the first of the season he was back to his muscle tees.

Aptly named shirts, those.

After the business of trimming was behind us, he asked to borrow my hose so he could wash away the worst of the grime.



It was like a scene from something on Cinemax.

I told my children to run along upstairs and find a screen of some kind for a few minutes.

When he was all done washing down, we stood by his truck to pay and to schedule and to chat.

We talked dirty.

Dirty and nasty.

Dirty and nasty and stinky.

Wait, what?

We chatted about poo.

That's right, poo.

The conversation ran the gamut from horse poo to dog poo to chicken poo, with the relative merits and detriments of each discussed in turn.





Only on a farm, people, only on a farm....





Image source: www.guttercleaningtips.com
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I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
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Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Spring has Sprung

After taking an extended winter vacation, my hens are back to business.

I wish I could take that much time off and still get paid.




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Rudeness disclaimer:

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I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

TALU #44




Welcome to the TALU Tuesday!

That's right, the Tuesday Archive Link-Up.

Time to pull your treasured old posts out of those cobwebby archives, dust them off, and give them new life where they will be seen and enjoyed by untold millions OK, thousands of viewers.

See, this link-up is hosted by several people, who, all together have thousands upon thousands of followers. So when you link your post up with this party? Your post will show up on all their blogs, to all of their followers.

All you've got to do is:


1) link up your post using the linky tool below,

2) visit the hosts and leave a comment to say hi, if you'd like,

3) and try to visit three or more of the blogs linked up and leave a comment. They'll all be doing the same, so it's like a giant hippie love fest. Bring your own flowers.







Oh and when you comment? Put in the secret code "TALU" (Tuesday Archive Link-Up) and then give a little wink so we'll all know what you're talking about.

Have fun!

Now here are your TALU hosts, wonderful gals every one....



Jennifer, author of I Am Not Superwoman

Anne, author of Life On The Funny Farm

Debbie, author of Wrinkled Mommy

Kenya, author of Here's The Thing...

Shanna, author of Motherhood On The Rocks.

Rachel, author of Homesteading Quest










PS: If you've never participated in a link-up/blog hop before, and you have any trouble, try clicking here for some tips.






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Throw me a vote? You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.

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Thanks!


*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Teacher Gifts

For years I struggled to find the perfect end-of-the-year teacher gift. Something personal, practical, and, with six kids in school, one that wouldn't break the bank.
After trying everything from homemade cookies in a jar to store bought chatchki, I finally arrived at something that fit the bill: a simple bookmark.

On stock paper, I print three bookmarks per page, each with a few words praising teachers. I add pictures of my children, have them write a few words of thanks and sign their name, and then run over to the local print shop to get them laminated.
On the back I affix a gift card to a book store, so the recipient can purchase a book for summer reading.
My children have been giving these to their teachers for several years now and we love them because they have all the things I look for:
Practical: teachers, books, bookmarks. No brainer.
Personal: Pictures and a few words from my kids makes this a very personal gift, even though we make them assembly line style.
Inexpensive: The bookmarks themselves cost next to nothing to make, and the gift cards can be any value that fits your budget. I often make 15 of these or more, so for me, money matters!
Appreciation: The teachers have told me how much they love getting these. They like that it is something that they can use and won't end up in the back of a closet, and that their student took the time to write a few words of thanks.






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*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Farm Friday: One Month Update

The kitties are one month old already!

SO cute.

Playful.
Curious.
Love muffins.

I could squeeze 'em all day long, but nobody's about to pay me for that, so I still have to trudge off to work.

Here. I wrapped you up a little cuteness to go.





















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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

Here are the pictures of the wisteria on my silo that I promised you last week.

Pretty, right?









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*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

TALU #43

I'm still lagging behind with my laptop out of commission, so my apologies for not getting to some of your posts last week.






Welcome to the TALU Tuesday!

That's right, the Tuesday Archive Link-Up.

Time to pull your treasured old posts out of those cobwebby archives, dust them off, and give them new life where they will be seen and enjoyed by untold millions OK, thousands of viewers.

See, this link-up is hosted by several people, who, all together have thousands upon thousands of followers. So when you link your post up with this party? Your post will show up on all their blogs, to all of their followers.

All you've got to do is:


1) link up your post using the linky tool below,

2) visit the hosts and leave a comment to say hi, if you'd like,

3) and try to visit three or more of the blogs linked up and leave a comment. They'll all be doing the same, so it's like a giant hippie love fest. Bring your own flowers.







Oh and when you comment? Put in the secret code "TALU" (Tuesday Archive Link-Up) and then give a little wink so we'll all know what you're talking about.

Have fun!

Now here are your TALU hosts, wonderful gals every one....



Jennifer, author of I Am Not Superwoman

Anne, author of Life On The Funny Farm

Debbie, author of Wrinkled Mommy

Kenya, author of Here's The Thing...

Shanna, author of Motherhood On The Rocks.

Rachel, author of Homesteading Quest












PS: If you've never participated in a link-up/blog hop before, and you have any trouble, try clicking here for some tips.






*************

Throw me a vote? You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.

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Thanks!


*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Monday, May 20, 2013

A New Shejhule...

Sigh...




Heavier sigh....



The time has come to make some changes.

I had hoped when I started back to work that I wouldn't have to give up any of the time I give to writing, but that isn't working out so well.

If it was just finding some time to actually "write" I don't think it would be as much of an issue. But what I need is time to write stuff, time to submit, time for blogging and sharing and linking and engaging and tweeting and all those other things that make up the social media landscape that is so integral to developing a platform nowadays.

And all those pesky children and pets of mine still expect me to feed them and stuff.

There is just no longer the time in the day to get it all done.

Or so my blood pressure has been telling me.

So I've had a talk with myself, and we have decided it's time to cut back a bit. Starting with this-here blog.

I'll still blog, it just won't be seven days a week any longer. Who posts seven days a week anyways? Just crazy me.

Let it go, woman, let it go....



Here's my new schedule:

Monday: Off
Tuesday: Tuesday Archive Link-Up blog hop
Wednesday: Wordless Wednesday
Thursday: Off
Friday: Farm Friday
Saturday: Sometimes guest posts, sometimes odds and ends
Sunday: Something family/life-related


Letting go can be hard, but I know it's a change I have to make.

Here's hoping it's a change my readers and I can all live with!


And thanks for being the awesomely devoted amazing readers that you are!

Love you all.
XOXOXO


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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Inspiration Sunday







Image source: Inspiring by Rebecca Peay, via Pinterest





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*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Top 5 Reasons to Read to Your Child

Today I bring you a wonderful guest post on the benefits of reading with your child. Enjoy!



5 Reasons to Read with Your Child

As a parent, you obviously want to raise your child to be the bright, intelligent individual you know they can be. But, outside of ensuring they get a quality education, what else can you do to boost their learning potential? One of the best ways is making reading an integral part of their lives from early on. Not only will this help your child gain fundamental reading skills, but there are many other benefits. From helping determine if they might need prescription eyeglasses to developing their language and speech skills, reading to your toddler offers advantages you might not have considered. Below are the top five reasons reading to your young child is important.


1. Preparing for school

Your child’s reading skills are critical to his or her success in school. So, why not set them up for success by instilling in them the importance of reading from an early age? Exposing your child to reading before they enter preschool will help ensure they’re well prepared for kindergarten and give them a good grasp on what to expect. The ability to put together words and sentences in the stories you read to them will lead to better cognitive skills in all subjects, as well as improved social interaction with peers.


2. Detecting vision problems

Whether or not you’ve taken your child for his or her first visit to the optometrist, you know them better than anyone and will be the first person to notice if something is off. Reading with your child is a great way to detect vision problems early on. Is he or she squinting at the page or having a hard time following the right line of text as you read? These could be signs that you child may need prescription eyeglasses. If you notice any of these indicators, make an appointment with your optometrist and share what you’ve noticed during your reading sessions. Detecting vision problems at an early age is the best way to help ensure a lifetime of healthy vision.


3. Bonding time with you

When your child is an infant, you have a seemingly endless amount of one-on-one with them. But, as they progress to toddler age, they’ll be constantly moving, playing, exploring, and possibly away at daycare or play dates. That’s why your time spent reading with them at this age is so precious. It gives you an opportunity to slow down and spend quality time with each other without other distractions getting in the way. Rather than being viewed as another task on your to-do list, allow reading with your child to become a cherished tradition that brings you closer.


4. Developing speech and language skills

Toddlerhood is a time where an infinite amount of learning is taking place, and critical language and speech skills are no exception. As you read to your preschooler, you’re helping teach the basic sounds and mouth movements that form language. You’re also helping them with their personal communication skills as they interact with the characters in the book and engage you with questions and dialogue back and forth. As your child gets older, you’ll start noticing him or her imitating you and sounding out words during your story time. These are their first crucial steps toward grasping language and learning to read on their own.


5. Increasing discipline and concentration

Any parent of a toddler knows that getting them to sit still for a length of time is a challenge. The more you make story time a routine, the more they’ll start learning to stay put and pay attention to the entire story. Along with a growing attention span, this will help instill self-discipline in your toddler. Both of these skills will put them in a prime position when they enter school.
Reading to your child is one of the simplest ways to lay a solid foundation for success in school, help improve social skills and increase general cognitive ability. Plus, it’s an enjoyable activity that will give you the added benefit of more quality time with the most important person in your life. With so many potential advantages, there’s no reason not to make reading to your child part of your daily routine.





Post is sponsored by LensCrafters.






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I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Farm Friday: Grumble.

Bleh!
Whine.
Grumble....

I had a post all written up with the kitten update. And I had pictures, but now I can't find the stinkin' memory card.
No memory card, no pictures.

And I canNOT bring myself to post a kitten update without showing you their toxic levels of adorableness. Can't be done.

So I'll try to post that tomorrow or something, and in the meantime I bring you some choice rehash of farm-like material.

Hope you don't mind too terribly.







So a good friend of mine is putting her house on the market because she wants a place in the country where she can keep her critters out in the open, and not hidden away in a secret chamber like Anne Frank.

The realtor came by to appraise her house and saw chickens in the garage.
Told her they must go.
She has some notion that potential buyers might not want to look any further once they saw chickens in the house. Sheesh.

So anyway, needless to say, I am now chicken-sitting said poultry. I took receipt of them a couple days ago, and felt like I was part of the underground-railroad.

We quickly got them settled into the Henhouse with the others.

Others being my 13 layers, 10 meat-bird chicks, and 6 layer-breed cockarels that I had heretofore described as styrofoam packing peanuts.

We oriented them to the feed and water, and sat back chattin' like the overall-wearin', hay-chewin' farmgals that we are, and watched the hens get acquainted with their new digs.

To no one's surprise, a fight broke out between one of the newcomers and one of my Wyandottes.

Me: Do you think we should break it up?
T: No, let's see if they can resolve this on their own.
(we're mothers first, chicken stewards second)

And we watched them fly at each other, puff up, peck at each other's wattles and combs, and cuss at each other.

At one point, in the thick of their squabble, they both stopped and turned to look off in a corner, with one neck twisted under the other and talons outstretched mid-strike.

Me: They need a thought-bubble above them that says, "I'm gonna rip you limb-from...Look! A squirrel!"
T: I think our chickens have ADHD.























Image courtesy: SydesJokes on Flickr
via Pinterest



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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

How To Have the Best Mother's Day Ever....

It's really very simple.

Just do a rain dance.

See, that way all the grass fields will get all sopping wet.

If the fields are sopping wet, soccer games will be cancelled.

If soccer games are cancelled, your big boys' job setting up the soccer fields for the rec teams will be cancelled.

Your daughter's travel team game will be rescheduled to be played on the turf field, but most of the girls won't be able to make the new time b/c of Mother's Day commitments, so the game will be cancelled.

You will then find yourself with almost more time than you know what to do with, where originally you were scheduled to be running dawn to dusk with kids' activities.

So there you have it.

A rain dance.

You're welcome.

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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

The day has come.

Sad but true.

I am not posting my usual for today. I had some pretty pictures of the wisteria on my silo that I was going to share. However, our internet is kaput at the moment. We can get it on one device, but it has no port for my camera's memory card. So Fred said I could go put my memory card in another computer, put the pictures on a jump drive, then put the jump drive in this computer and get the pictures just as easy as you please.

But see, that would entail me getting up out of bed and walking into another room and finding a dadgum jump drive and other assorted and boring and confusing steps, so I just stared blankly at him. I might have drooled a little (like mental-patient drooling, not jonesing-for-chocolate drooling).

So my most sincere apologies are being offered up for not showing you pretty wisteria at dawn pictures. Another time.



I hope we're still friends?




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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

TALU #42

Apologies! Not only is my laptop very ill with a virus, our internet connection at home has vanished without a trace. I'm doing my best over the last week or so, but I am definitely not up to par. Thanks for your patience!!!







Welcome to the TALU Tuesday!

That's right, the Tuesday Archive Link-Up.

Time to pull your treasured old posts out of those cobwebby archives, dust them off, and give them new life where they will be seen and enjoyed by untold millions OK, thousands of viewers.

See, this link-up is hosted by several people, who, all together have thousands upon thousands of followers. So when you link your post up with this party? Your post will show up on all their blogs, to all of their followers.

All you've got to do is:


1) link up your post using the linky tool below,

2) visit the hosts and leave a comment to say hi, if you'd like,

3) and try to visit three or more of the blogs linked up and leave a comment. They'll all be doing the same, so it's like a giant hippie love fest. Bring your own flowers.







Oh and when you comment? Put in the secret code "TALU" (Tuesday Archive Link-Up) and then give a little wink so we'll all know what you're talking about.

Have fun!

Now here are your TALU hosts, wonderful gals every one....



Jennifer, author of I Am Not Superwoman

Anne, author of Life On The Funny Farm

Debbie, author of Wrinkled Mommy

Kenya, author of Here's The Thing...

Shanna, author of Motherhood On The Rocks.

Rachel, author of Homesteading Quest













PS: If you've never participated in a link-up/blog hop before, and you have any trouble, try clicking here for some tips.






*************

Throw me a vote? You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.

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Thanks!


*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Mirth Monday









Image source: Kimberly Danger via Pinterest



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*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Inspiration Sunday







Image source: ShoppersResource.com via Pinterest


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Throw me a vote? You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.

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*************


Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

When I First Saw You

Becuase I'm a glutton for punishment and like to make myself cry, every now and again I like to re-post the poem James wrote for me for Mother's Day in 2011.

It goes a little something like this:




When I First Saw You








Sniff.









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*************


Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Farm Friday: Kitten Update

Geeze Louise they're growing fast.





Holy cow.

And cute?

Please.

They're starting to walk now, as opposed to belly crawling.

You know, that funny brand-new-legs walk that kittens do, one foot at a time, tail pointed straight out behind them, shaking like a junkie.



They're also beginning to groom themselves and even to play a bit.

Also? They're starting to develop personalities. Well, kittenalities, I suppose, if you want to get all technical on me.

Eenie: Thinks outside the box. Literally. Yesterday Miss Kitty and all her babies were in the box, but Eenie was just outside.




Meenie: Not a meanie. A sweetie!




Miney: This joker is a jokester.




Mo: He's my laid-back little dude. Doesn't say much, just sits back and looks at you with those eyes. At two weeks old, he's already heavily contemplated life.




Tiger: Biggest. Furriest. Leader of the band.






I've moved their box into a bigger enclosure so when they're big enough to leave the box they'll have a safe place to play.






I made the move a little sooner than I had planned, b/c when I went to check on them yesterday, I discovered Miss Kitty had moved them. She put them all in a desk drawer. They were all jumbled up in a pile on a bunch of pencils, peering out and saying, "Meow?"



And I said, "Miss Kitty, I've been there, honey. I know there are some days you just want to hide your kids away in a desk drawer or a closet or something, but you just can't do that, darlin'."

And she sighed a very heavy sigh as she watched me place them back in the box.

She's feeling a bit like a factory these days, poor girl.


That's OK.

I know she loves the little parasites....











They'll be ready in 5 1/2 more weeks! Taking orders now.....



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Throw me a vote? You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.

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Thanks!


*************


Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

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