life on the funny farm

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

TALU #40




Welcome to the TALU Tuesday!

That's right, the Tuesday Archive Link-Up.

Time to pull your treasured old posts out of those cobwebby archives, dust them off, and give them new life where they will be seen and enjoyed by untold millions OK, thousands of viewers.

See, this link-up is hosted by several people, who, all together have thousands upon thousands of followers. So when you link your post up with this party? Your post will show up on all their blogs, to all of their followers.

All you've got to do is:


1) link up your post using the linky tool below,

2) visit the hosts and leave a comment to say hi, if you'd like,

3) and try to visit three or more of the blogs linked up and leave a comment. They'll all be doing the same, so it's like a giant hippie love fest. Bring your own flowers.







Oh and when you comment? Put in the secret code "TALU" (Tuesday Archive Link-Up) and then give a little wink so we'll all know what you're talking about.

Have fun!

Now here are your TALU hosts, wonderful gals every one....



Jennifer, author of I Am Not Superwoman

Anne, author of Life On The Funny Farm

Debbie, author of Wrinkled Mommy

Kenya, author of Here's The Thing...

Shanna, author of Motherhood On The Rocks.

Rachel, author of Homesteading Quest











PS: If you've never participated in a link-up/blog hop before, and you have any trouble, try clicking here for some tips.




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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Mirth Monday








Image source: Penny Lane, via Pinterest



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Rudeness disclaimer:

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I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Inspiration Sunday





Image source: Quote Book, via Pinterest



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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Quesadillas

I have another recipe for you today.

One of my kids' favorites, and it's pretty easy.

Quesadillas!

I'm sure there are a million ways to make them, but I'm just going to give you one. Don't be afraid to play around and change things up!


Ingredients
Tortillas
Chicken, cooked and shredded
Butter
Cheddar cheese, grated
Onion, diced
Pepper, green or red, diced
Chicken taco seasoning packets
Water
Sour cream (optional)
Diced tomatoes (optional)


A few quick tips and things before the instructions
*Each seasoning packet is usually enough for 1 cup of chicken. For my big crew, I use 3 or 4 cups of chicken, so 3 or 4 seasoning packets.
*If you feel in the mood to make these, but you don't have any of the seasoning packets, you can substitute salsa.
*Each tortilla will make 3 quesadillas. I think I usually use about 12 - 16 tortillas.
*Every now and then I have a lull in the pace, and I'll throw a whole chicken in the crock pot and cook it up. Once it's cooled some, I pick the meat off the bones and shred it by placing it in the Kitchen Aid mixer with the mixing blade. Then I pulse it some, and mix it slowly till it's shredded. Works great! Then I bag it in a ziplock and store it in the freezer to have on the ready for casseroles or quesadillas.


Instructions
*Cook the diced onion and pepper in a big frying pan with some oil and some butter.
*When it's tender, add the cooked chicken, plus the packets of seasoning mix and however much water it tells you to add.
*Cook it for a few minutes till it's mixed well, and nice and bubbly.
*On a heated griddle or large skillet, melt some butter. Place as many tortillas as you can fit at once. I have a huge griddle, and can fit four tortillas.
*Place a few spoonfuls of the chicken mixture on half of each tortilla. Top with cheese.
*After a couple minnutes, use a spatula to fold each tortilla in half (like an omelette).
*Wait another minute and then remove to a cutting board. I like to put two of these "half-moons" back to back with each other.
*Use a pizza cutter to cut them into six wedges, three wedges per tortilla. Just like cutting a six-slice pizza.
*Remove to a plate and keep going with the others till you're done.
*Have some diced fresh tomatoes and some sour cream on hand to place on top for those who want it. Yes please!


And that's about it.  Like I said, pretty easy, and they move like hotcakes.

Enjoy!!!









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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Farm Friday: KITTENS!

The kitties are here!!!












Miss Kitty had her babies on Tuesday morning! She did great. She had five beautiful, healthy, gorgeous kittens.

Two black and white tuxedos,
Two white with grey/black tiger patches,
and one that's mostly grey/black tiger with some brownish areas.

Have I mentioned that she is about the sweetest cat I have ever met? Even while in labor, if I was petting her, she was purring.

That contrasted quite nicely with what I had anticipated: that if I reached my hand into the box, her head would spin around and she would scream "Don't touch me you son of a b**ch!"

Nope.  Sweet and loving through the whole process.

You could tell she had read the What To Expect When You're Expecting Kittens book, because she followed all the steps precisely:

1) Birth a kitten.

2) Eat the birth sac.

3) Clean the kitten.

4) Birth the placenta.

5) Eat the placenta.

6) Look like you're about to hurl.

7) Repeat.


The other kids had already left for school, but Daniel and I were around for most of the process. When he got an eyeful of that first placenta, he tapped into speed I never knew he had. He made a personal best as well as a household best in his time in the Leaving the Room event.

I know some mammals of the human variety eat the placenta, too, and who am I to judge, but GROSS! Although watching the process, it made me realize how natural and probably nutritious (and revolting) it is. In fact, I thought of a couple of slogans should the placenta crowd ever want to market their approach:

Placenta.
It's what's for breakfast.

or...

Packed with protein, placenta really satisfies.

What do you think? Would either of those make you want to eat your placenta?

No? Maybe I shouldn't have quit my day job...






Taking orders for kittens NOW!!! Just think, you can have one of these little beauties for your very own in about six short weeks!


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Rudeness disclaimer:

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I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Appliances. Story of a Love-Hate Relationship.

Life is good.

I have many conveniences in my household that make my life so much easier.

Except when they decide not to work.

Like my dishwasher.

A wondrous thing.

But since there currently appears to be some mystery food clogging its plumbing, it won't drain.

Translation: we can't use it.

Translation #2: we're handwashing all the dishes, which means every inch of countertop is taken up with dirty dishes in varying degrees of filth, or clean dishes in varying stages of drying. Looks classy.








Or like my washer and dryer.

Can you imagine life without that hardworking little duo? I can't.

But recently our spin cycle decided to go on vacation.

Which means when the clothes are done washing, we have to wring them out by hand over the sink or the bathtub before they're placed in the dryer.

Even doing so, the clothes are so wet that it takes about four dryer cycles to get the clothes dry.

So we've been getting a little backed up on laundry 'round here.

Not good, my friends.


And lastly, the refrigerator.

Oh, it's doing just fine.

But some filter thingy sprung a leak and water leaked all inside the fridge and into the little shelves on the door and then froze, so all the jellies and condiments are stuck in the ice.

The freezer, on the other hand, refuses to make ice, so it's back to the 1950s we go with ice cube trays that the kids seem not to know how to fill up when they're empty.

I know, it's pretty complicated stuff filling ice cube trays, I'm probably expecting too much of my kids.



And my computer has been coming on to me lately.  Last night I thought I'd play a few hands of solitaire to relax before bed.  I still had a couple tabs open, like maybe Blogger and Yahoo or something.  But I could hear heavy breathing from the computer. It was kind of freaky.




Worst part about it was it didn't even offer to buy me a drink...




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I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

Now that the fence is finished, the horses are loving their new field!!!!








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Rudeness disclaimer:

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I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

TALU #39




Welcome to the TALU Tuesday!

That's right, the Tuesday Archive Link-Up.

Time to pull your treasured old posts out of those cobwebby archives, dust them off, and give them new life where they will be seen and enjoyed by untold millions OK, thousands of viewers.

See, this link-up is hosted by several people, who, all together have thousands upon thousands of followers. So when you link your post up with this party? Your post will show up on all their blogs, to all of their followers.

All you've got to do is:


1) link up your post using the linky tool below,

2) visit the hosts and leave a comment to say hi, if you'd like,

3) and try to visit three or more of the blogs linked up and leave a comment. They'll all be doing the same, so it's like a giant hippie love fest. Bring your own flowers.







Oh and when you comment? Put in the secret code "TALU" (Tuesday Archive Link-Up) and then give a little wink so we'll all know what you're talking about.

Have fun!

Now here are your TALU hosts, wonderful gals every one....



Jennifer, author of I Am Not Superwoman

Anne, author of Life On The Funny Farm

Debbie, author of Wrinkled Mommy

Kenya, author of Here's The Thing...

Shanna, author of Motherhood On The Rocks.

Rachel, author of Homesteading Quest












PS: If you've never participated in a link-up/blog hop before, and you have any trouble, try clicking here for some tips.




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Throw me a vote? You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.

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Thanks!


*************

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*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Mirth Monday














Image source: T H E | M I N I M A L I S T A via Pinterest


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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Inspiration Sunday











Image source: Julie Slover, via Pinterest


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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Mud Room - How to Clean and Organize

Today I bring you a guest post from the lovely and talented Nicole Sanders.

Take it away, Nicole!





Is your mud room more mud than room? Do you dread hearing the words "mud room" and "spring cleaning" in the same sentence?

If so, it's time for home cleaning tips so that you can transform that mud room from mess to success. It might seem overwhelming at first, but if you take it in steps, it's not so bad. What you need is a two-stage plan for getting the job done. The first stage is cleaning, and the second stage is organizing.



The first thing that's required for cleaning is to take everything out of the mud room. That means everything. You can't do a proper job of cleaning if you don't get into all the corners. There are dust rolls, cobwebs and also dead insect parts in there, which are actually unhealthy to breathe. There may be mouse droppings as well. So you need to get all that out of there.

Use a clean broom and knock the cobwebs down from the ceiling and upper corners. Make sure you have a lot of light in there so you can see them. Then sweep up the big chunks of mud and debris from the floor. Use a clean mop. Mop the floor carefully with some water and mild detergent, getting into all the corners. When the floor is dry, sweep it again, because mopping knocks a lot of chunks loose from the floor.

Great job of cleaning that mud room! Now for the next stage of mud room renewal— organizing! Go through everything you had stored in there. Make four sections for your stuff. Mark them: Put Back in the Mud Room, Put Somewhere Else, Donate to Charity, and Throw Away. Take your time and go through everything, and put it in one of the four piles. You might want the whole family in on this if everyone had things stored in the mud room; it's only fair they should get to decide the fate of their belongings.

Before you put back or donate anything, you should look at it and make sure it's clean. If it's dusty or muddy, clean it off and if it's moldy or otherwise too far gone, throw it away. You don't want to put dirty items back in your newly cleaned mud room or other parts of the house, or donate something you wouldn't take yourself.

Here are a couple more mud room home cleaning tips. If you're very busy, or overwhelmed with spring cleaning, you could hire a cleaning service. A cleaning service would do a thorough job, though you'd still have to decide what you wanted to keep or throw away. Another tip is to pick a mud room-cleaning day when everyone is home. That way everyone can help.




Although it's called the mud room, it does need a good cleaning at least once a year. You'll get better use out of it and it's nicer to look at that way. And after all, when dirt travels into your house, that's where it gets off the train!






Image source: www.picgifs.com


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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Farm Friday

Nothing new in the farming department, but I'm tired of reposting old stuff.

I do have two small updates for you, so I'll just share them.


Like Miss Kitty, our little pregnant stray.

No kittens yet, but she continues to amaze me at how large her belly is capable of growing.




You may notice she now appears to be inside the house instead of on the porch.
That's because she's, well, inside the house.
Yes, I'm a sucker.



The other update is our fence.

Our neighbors that adjoin our lower field had torn down our hedgerow and ramshackle fence, with the promise of erecting a new wooden post and rail fence. I was thrilled, because it meant a nice new fence at zero cost to us.

And yet, that was two years ago.

Which means we haven't been able to use that field at all because there is nothing to contain the critters.

So just a few days ago I said to Fred, I said, I'm going to go out and get me a whole bunch of t-posts and barbed wire and start putting that up just to put the fear of God in them.

Well, they must have heard me, because I came home from work a couple days ago and saw their fence had been started. It's still got many yards to go before it's all fenced in, but it looks like they've got all the lumber laid out and ready to finish.

So it appears that very soon I shall be able to open the gate and let the horses in to graze on that long, luscious grass that hasn't been munched on in a couple years.

They will be very happy.

It's the stuff of dreams.

If you're a horse.



Anyway, here's hoping that the next installment of Farm Friday will have pictures of newborn kitties and pictures of happy horses.

Have a great weekend!



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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

IEP Means I'm Extremely Proud

Last week I attended the IEP meeting for my son James.

For those of you who may be new here, James is my second oldest child, and he joined our family via adoption a little over four years ago when he was 13 and several inches shorter than I. He is now 18 years old and he towers over me.

Helping James to find his way, to find his place in our family, has been a challenge because James is dealing with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) as well as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This has caused him to have trouble being successful in school, as well, and so a couple of years ago we initiated an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for him.

A large focus with the IEP has been to get his basic academics up to a satisfactory level, but it also addresses his ability to handle stress and frustration in the school setting, as this has been something he has struggled with since he first started school here in America.

But now? That goal for dealing with frustration has been dropped from the IEP.

Why? Simply because he is now able to handle those frustrations within the classroom instead of having an "escape route".

This is huge.

Teachers flitted in and out of the meeting to give updates on how he was doing in each of their classes. 

The phrase "model student" is something I heard.

Several times.

Model. Student.

Those words mean more to me than all the numbers on the state standardized tests and the test grades and the PSATs combined.

I am soooo, so proud of my boy.

Well done, James.

Well done....








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I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Wordless Wednesday



A very long ago picture of my brother Donald (center), my sister Mary (left) and I.

Donald passed away a number of years ago at the age of 33, but today is his birthday. He would have been 50 today.

Happy birthday, Donald!









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Rudeness disclaimer:

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I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

TALU #38




Welcome to the TALU Tuesday!

That's right, the Tuesday Archive Link-Up.

Time to pull your treasured old posts out of those cobwebby archives, dust them off, and give them new life where they will be seen and enjoyed by untold millions OK, thousands of viewers.

See, this link-up is hosted by several people, who, all together have thousands upon thousands of followers. So when you link your post up with this party? Your post will show up on all their blogs, to all of their followers.

All you've got to do is:


1) link up your post using the linky tool below,

2) visit the hosts and leave a comment to say hi, if you'd like,

3) and try to visit three or more of the blogs linked up and leave a comment. They'll all be doing the same, so it's like a giant hippie love fest. Bring your own flowers.







Oh and when you comment? Put in the secret code "TALU" (Tuesday Archive Link-Up) and then give a little wink so we'll all know what you're talking about.

Have fun!

Now here are your TALU hosts, wonderful gals every one....



Jennifer, author of I Am Not Superwoman

Anne, author of Life On The Funny Farm

Debbie, author of Wrinkled Mommy

Kenya, author of Here's The Thing...

Shanna, author of Motherhood On The Rocks.

Rachel, author of Homesteading Quest










PS: If you've never participated in a link-up/blog hop before, and you have any trouble, try clicking here for some tips.


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I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.








Monday, April 15, 2013

Mirth Monday




Image source: Jared Richards via Pinterest



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Check out my blog-hoppin' schedule in my sidebar, and come join the fun!

*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Inspiration Sunday

For my brother Donald, whose birthday is in three days.
He would have been turning 50....











Image source: Soo Heath via Pinterest


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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.





Saturday, April 13, 2013

Class Reunion

I’m celebrating something today.

A reunion.

And while my high school reunion IS fast approaching, that’s not the one I’m referring to.

I’m talking about the April 2012 MNINB Platform Challenge Reunion.

I know, it’s a mouthful. I’ll break it down…

April 2012: A year ago.

MNINB: My Name is Not Bob. The name of the blog of Robert Lee Brewer (whose name is not Bob). That’s Robert Lee Brewer of Writer’s Digest fame, for any non-writerly folk out there. He’s a writerly-type extraordinaire, and he had the grand idea to put his knowledge out there for folks like me.

Platform: This is what you want if you’re a writer that hopes to be published. Why? I don’t know, but all the agents whine platform, platform, platform All. The. Time. Apparently you need it, and size matters. As in, they want to see a lot of followers and lots of traffic and a large presence in all the sundry social media venues.

Challenge: Because I’m challenged.

Reunion: The folks who went through the challenge formed a bit of a band. A family. And it’s extremely cool. At first, we were calling ourselves the Not Bobbers, but now we’re all grown up and we go by Wordsmith Studio. Isn’t that the bomb? We have our own blog and a badge and everything.

See?



Anyway, we realized that we had all learned so much during the platform challenge and then in the ensuing year, and we said, “Wordsmithers? We should have a reunion of sorts so we can all reflect on how we’ve grown and what we’ve learned.”

Only it was going to be way better than a real reunion because nobody would be talking about how much weight the prom queen had gained or how pot-bellied and balding the varsity quarterback had gotten or how Mr. Most Likely to Succeed was still living with his mother 30 years later.

Each of us that wanted to attend the reunion had only to sign up for a date in April and write up a piece about all that reflection and growth.

And so this is mine.

From the challenge, I learned that it’s not enough to say “If I build it, they will come.” Not in this digital age, anyway. You have to build it, and commit to adding to it, and sharing it, and engaging with others till you become that cool party house that everyone wanted to hang out at. You know, the one with the laid back parents and plenty of chips.

And I’ve learned that a lot of this process is fun, but some of it is tedious and downright hard. With this reunion, it’s time to look back at what I was taught, and figure out what I learned and what I still use. Just like those school subjects so many years ago.

For example, Twitter and Google+ and Linked In and SEO? That was math for me. I learned it, but it’s not easy for me and I don’t enjoy it. I know how to use the basics enough to get by, but you’ll never catch me dabbling in it just for fun.

Facebook and Blog Hops and Guest Posting and editorial calendars? That’s my English. A bit dry and dreary at times, but it comes easy and I kind of enjoy it.

Pinterest? Art class! It’s fun and it’s easy and I love it.

Creating blog posts and reading comments and checking my stats? Those are the after school activities that I do because I choose to do them, not because the state mandates that I take the class.

Of course, there are a few areas I need improvement in, and I need to work on those skills. Kind of like taking an adult education class at the local community college. For example, I suck at engagement, so I really need to beef up my skills there. It’s partly a time issue, but I know I can’t blame it entirely on that. And I need to find a way to allow readers to follow me by email. I tried to put an email-following widget in my sidebar once, but I failed. I need to retake that class. Summer school?

Clearly, I learned plenty during the challenge, even if it wasn’t all fun. But where did it get me? Am I more successful now as a writer than I was in March 2012? I’d say yes, I am. When I look back at where I was in terms of platform before the challenge compared to now, I can see an enormous change. My blog followers have grown from numbering in the teens to over 500. My monthly page views have grown from about 4,000 to five times that amount. I have a healthy following on Twitter and Pinterest, and a Facebook fan page that’s none too shabby. Besides the increase in traffic and followers, my “searchability” has improved tremendously, I’ve received a few awards, and I’ve had essays published in magazines as well as in several books. I’ve been interviewed a number of times, and I receive queries for guest post submissions and advertisers on a daily basis. So yeah. HUGE difference for me.

Besides reflecting back at what you’ve learned and how far you’ve come when you’re at a reunion, you also apply that to your classmates. Where are they now? So I ask, what of my fellow “students” from this graduating class? Well, I am nothing short of amazed. When I think of their collective creative genius, their fortitude, and their leadership skills, I am blown away. The Wordsmithers is an organized and efficient group, with a board of directors, committee members, and an ambitious yet grounded vision. They are intelligent, supportive, inquisitive, and talented, and I am humbled and honored to be a part of this incredible group. What’s that expression about sisters? Chance made us sisters, choice made us friends. That can be applied quite neatly to the Wordsmithers, as well.

So now, drink in hand, I stand at the corner of the room and look out at my Wordsmith classmates, drinking, laughing, dancing under the lights at our reunion. We all went through it together, and we all emerged knowing more. We each took away something a little different, perhaps, yet this common thread has been woven into a rich and beautiful tapestry.

Here, hold my drink. I want to go dance….






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I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
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If you have a question that just can't wait,
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Friday, April 12, 2013

Farm Friday: Ill-Conceived Notion

This is something I posted a couple years ago. I file it under the "what was I thinking?" category...



As I was making the appointment with the vet's office, I thought to myself,
This is an ill-conceived notion.

A few of my critters were due for their annual shots
OK, 2 mths past due, but who's counting?
so I was figuring who to take. Since my vet gives a discount to any client deranged enough to bring in more than two animals at a time, I thought it prudent to take advantage of the savings. Also, more animals at once means fewer trips all together.

And I knew my yellow Lab had another ear infection. See, I'm kind of like an animal expert, so when she tilts her head back and scratches it slowly with her hind foot, then examines the foot, sniffs it, and licks the bacteria-laden puss from her claws, I just made that leap in my brain. I'm smart that way.

It's sorta like when a hillbilly picks some festering bit of squirrel from between his teeth, studies it, then eats it.

So I decided two dogs and two cats would be a nice, balanced mix. Wisely, I determined that putting both cats in one carrier would free up one hand, making things more efficient. They would be comfortable, I was sure, as it was quite roomy.

By roomy, I mean it was roughly the size of a one-car garage.

As it had a handle, I considered it a "carrier", but much like a hanky in a breast pocket, it was all for show.
This was meant to be set in place in one's home and remain there. If the house were to be sold, this "carrier" would be sold along with it, much like a refrigerator or an oven.

With the cats comfortably lounging in their respective corners, I hoisted it up and proceeded to get it downstairs to the car. Besides the mass and the bulky dimensions of the carrier itself, I hadn't thought that I would also be hauling the combined 25 lbs of the cats themselves. My back and neck muscles were bulging, I started to break out in a cold sweat, and I was muttering obscenities under my breath, but get it downstairs I did.

Next I brought the dogs down. Sunny (the Lab) was wiggling all over, excited at the prospect of
going somewhere
and
doing something.

She leaped before the door was fully open.
You know how when Wile E Coyote runs headlong into a cliff painted deceptively like a tunnel, and his body accordians up and he plays music? I can attest that this happens in real life.

When her body straightened out, and with the door in its fully upright position, she jumped into the back of the car. By the time I leveraged the carrier into place beside her, I had to spend a few minutes picking up the crayons, coloring books, headphones and socks that had been dislodged from the car due to Sunny's perpetual state of wiggle-iness.

We got to the vet's in short order and I proceeded to unload without incident. Getting them into the office was another matter.

First Sunny wedged herself into the doorway just as I was edging the carrier through.
She is not known for her intellect.

They were jammed, but I unstuck them and tried again. This time I told the dogs to stay as I tried to put the carrier through first. But Cindy Lou, the little Rat Terrier, darted under the carrier and around my ankles a couple times, winding me up like a top, then sprinting back the way she came, sending me spinning.
Unfortunately the act of unwinding herself only served to wind Sunny up.

I put the carrier on the ground and proceeded to intricately step over and under leashes, much like Tom Cruise avoiding lasers in a spy movie.

Untangled, I left the carrier where it was and got the dogs in the door, then dragged the portable shed through the doorway inch by inch.

We had made it.

Into the foyer.

We then had to repeat the whole process to get through the next door and into the office proper.

Only once I opened said door, the antiseptic smell of Vet's Office washed over the dogs and they knew where they were. This was no longer an adventurous outing, but an excursion through the gates of Hell.

They both put their full body weights into pulling back against their leashes. This while I was pushing the carrier through the doorway with about 1/2 inch to spare on either side, like I was moving a dresser into a bedroom. I pushed it into the office as far as my arms would reach, then stepped back and flung the dogs in with one mighty, adrenaline-surge of strength.

I recovered my breath for a few moments in the waiting room, slumped in a chair, my hair plastered to my face, my clothes enshroudeded in dog hair. The dogs were trembling in the corner. The cats, nonplussed, gazed out at me from the confines of their mini mansion.

The time came to weigh the dogs and Sunny lumbered onto the scale. I know I heard it creak. For a split second her motion stopped and her weight registered.
101 pounds.

My mind's eye offered up several snapshots:
Sunny parked under the table, catching each food particle before it hit the floor.
Sunny beating the other dogs to the dishes placed on the floor to pre-rinse before going in the dishwasher.
Sunny trying to wedge her massive body inside the dishwasher to get any nuances of food left behind from the pre-rinse.
She was all about the food.

Next it was Cindy Lou's turn.
"Go ahead and put her on the scale", instructed the tech.
"She is on the scale", I replied.
She weighed all of 8 pounds.

We got them all in the exam room and the the vet did his thing and all went well. Except Cindy, having never been to the vet's before, was nervous. Standing on the exam table, facing the vet, she saw his hand reach out to her and she wanted away. With her little tail being pressed up against my arm, she had nowhere to go. So she started backing her hindquarters up my body till her back legs were on my shoulder and she was doing a full handstand, completely vertically, upside-down.

Yes. I have normal animals.

The exam over, with thorough examinations and multiple vaccinations for each of them and two new drugs for Sunny's ears, I headed to the desk to check out.
There was much clicking of the keyboard.
There were many papers printed.
There were consultations in hushed whispers.

I was presented with the bill.

$401 dollars.

My God in heaven.

This was 1/2 a month's worth of groceries.
This was a pair of shoes and a pack of socks for each member of the family. And throw in some underwear.
This was a couple month's worth of school lunches.
This was a trip to WalMart when I only planned on getting some Tide and Ziplock Bags but ended up buying everything that I saw that I thought we needed at the time including that cute little throw-rug that would look just right by the front door.


There was only one thing for it.
Sell the children for scientific experimentation.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Blue Dog




The most senior of our six dogs is an old feller named Blue. Whether I call him Blue Dog or Handsome or Bubby, I have to say it a little louder now because he's beginning to lose his hearing. Since he's 13 and that's really his only physical problem, we can't complain. When we take him in for his yearly checkup and shots, the vet is always amazed at how great he's doing, and thinks he looks half his age. We got him before our youngest was even crawling and our oldest was still in preschool. So he's been a part of this family for a very long time.

But a week ago it looked like his age had finally caught up with him. The poor old thing was gravely ill. I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say it involved lots of purging of his system, from both ends.
And a good deal of blood.

We actually thought we might be looking at his last days. And this while my oldest child was halfway around the world in Italy.

We brought him to the vet, and she wasn't too optimistic. She kept him there over Easter weekend, hooked up to IV fluids and meds. I was dying the eggs and cooking Easter dinner, but frettin' and pacin' the whole while. Finally got that phone call to give me an update, and I was thrilled to learn he was on the mend.

He came home the day after Easter looking MUCH better.  And he's going to be just fine.

If only I can make it through two weeks of managing his meds. I give him some tube medicine I have to squirt in his mouth twice a day for two weeks, but I have to give it an hour after his pills. I give him two pills twice a day that I have to give him 1/2 hour before or after his special canned food. And I need to give him 1/2 a pain pill as needed. Ummm, last I checked, he can't talk. So when do I give it, when he's clutching his belly and rolling his eyes?

That's OK, I don't mind. I'm just SO happy to have him home!!!!

Love you, Blue....





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Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
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Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

Do you know what this is...?


It's an OPEN WINDOW!!!!!


Gasp!


Spring has sprung!








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Throw me a vote? You know the drill by now. Just click the juggling chick and you've voted. You can vote every day till like, forever.

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Thanks!


*************

Check out my blog-hoppin' schedule in my sidebar, and come join the fun!

*************

Rudeness disclaimer:

I love all your comments,
I read every one!
But I can't hit 'reply',
I've no time for fun.
Please don't judge me,
Please don't hate.
If you have a question that just can't wait,
Send me an email at farmbeachgal@yahoo.com,
And I'll answer right back because I'm, you know, the Mom.

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