Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Things Kids Shouldn't Know About ......

I was sorting strawberries with James and Julie a couple days ago, after picking a boatload of them at a local farm. As often happens, when their hands are busily engaged with work, their tongues move more freely. They shared with me some of the atrocities they've seen over the years at their orphanages. We adoptive parents like to think that, although not the same as a family and home, the orphange is not too bad a place for the kids. They keep them warm and safe and dry and fed. But when the love of a family is missing, terrible things can happen.

My kids told me of children slicing their arms with knives. Pushing needles into their bellies while being kept in "solitary confinement". Looking out the window to see a classmate swinging from a tree, rope around his neck and chair kicked out from under him, and having to run out with teachers and students to rescue him. They both knew of many kids who had hurt themselves, attempted suicide, or ended their lives violently. This is not a case of knowing someone who knew someone who tried it, this is being able to count the lost souls of kids you once knew.

With both hands and voice trembling, I assured my sweet kids that here they are safe and loved. I let them know that they could come to us with anything on their minds. Told them if they feel angry or sad we can talk with them and help them through their feelings.
At some point, when they have a little more English under their belts, I will take them to see a professional who can help them deal with the many things they've seen and experienced in their short lives. But for now, I hope lots of hugs and kisses and talking and snuggling will do the job of making them feel safe and secure and loved.

9 comments:

  1. Awww. Well from what I've read about your family more recently it sounds like you've done a wonderful job. I am glad you found them and them you! ~TALU

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  2. Here in our nice, safe homes, it's hard to fathom the horrors that others see daily. I'm sure that was a very difficult conversation for you, but it's so good that they feel comfortable talking about it with you. They are amazing kids.

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  3. So heart breaking. They are so blessed to have found a nice , loving family.

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  4. From what I have read, you give them much love and that shows in the fact that they initiated this conversation. It is so wonderful that all of you found each other. TALU

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  5. So hard to think of what horrible things that some kids see and experience - especially hard to think of the ones that never find a loving family like yours to go home with. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job of giving yours the safety, security and love that they need.

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  6. You are so wonderful for providing a loving environment to them and what a terrible terrible reality they had to witness. It breaks my heart to know that kids are exposed to things like that, but good that they allow themselves to talk about it. I think it must be healthier than keeping it bottled up inside them. Probably means as well they feel very safe and protected with you, to allow their mind to wonder to such dark places, knowing that you are right there to pull them out and reassure them.

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  7. Heartbreaking. sounds like they are blessed to have you.

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  8. It is so sad that kids experience these things. I am glad that they have found a safe place with you. TALU

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  9. Absolutely heartbreaking! They are so blessed to have been placed with a nurturing and loving family to help them deal with the horrors and move forward. ~TALU~

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